How to punish my teenage daughter for buying thongs? [on hold]Teenage daughter and stepfatherHow to deal with a teenage daughter who refuses to dress modestlyHow to punish my 5 year old bully?Teenage daughter refusing to go to schoolWhy does my teenage daughter always try to get in trouble?My 13 year old daughter says she wants to be a boy. This is out of character for her. Is this a phase?Should I punish my teenage sister, whom I have full custody of, for lying to me in order to secretly see her boyfriend?How do I resolve this bikini problem between wife and daughter?How to make a teen stop vaping?13 year old daughter refusing to wear a real bra
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How to punish my teenage daughter for buying thongs? [on hold]
Teenage daughter and stepfatherHow to deal with a teenage daughter who refuses to dress modestlyHow to punish my 5 year old bully?Teenage daughter refusing to go to schoolWhy does my teenage daughter always try to get in trouble?My 13 year old daughter says she wants to be a boy. This is out of character for her. Is this a phase?Should I punish my teenage sister, whom I have full custody of, for lying to me in order to secretly see her boyfriend?How do I resolve this bikini problem between wife and daughter?How to make a teen stop vaping?13 year old daughter refusing to wear a real bra
I have a 14-year-old daughter. I found out that she has bought a bunch of thongs and thong body suits and thong bikinis. I also found a bunch of mini skirts and super short shorts. How should I punish her?
discipline teen clothes
edited Mar 23 at 14:21
Anne Daunted
2,18641128
asked Mar 23 at 2:31
AnnaAnna
11
New contributor
Anna is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
put on hold as primarily opinion-based by Buzz, Anne Daunted, Rory Alsop♦ Mar 23 at 18:58
Many good questions generate some degree of opinion based on expert experience, but answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
add a comment |
I have a 14-year-old daughter. I found out that she has bought a bunch of thongs and thong body suits and thong bikinis. I also found a bunch of mini skirts and super short shorts. How should I punish her?
discipline teen clothes
edited Mar 23 at 14:21
Anne Daunted
2,18641128
asked Mar 23 at 2:31
AnnaAnna
11
New contributor
Anna is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
put on hold as primarily opinion-based by Buzz, Anne Daunted, Rory Alsop♦ Mar 23 at 18:58
Many good questions generate some degree of opinion based on expert experience, but answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
2
Hi and welcome to Parenting.SE! Please take the tour and read the help center. Unfortunately, your question is primarily opinion-based and too broad. It needs more details. Can you explain what your goal is, what you tried so far (e. g. did you speak to her and what did she say), how her behavior in general is? Did she buy them from her own money and are there restrictions what she is allowed to spend her money on etc.?
– Anne Daunted
Mar 23 at 14:24
You say that she needs to be punished, as if that's obvious. Why do you think that? Knowing your background and reasoning would help people provide good answers.
– user32494
Mar 23 at 17:28
3
I'm closing this for now, for various reasons. Your question doesn't properly articulate why this deserves punishment, but even if you did I think it would be too broad or opinion based. Why would you want strangers on the internet to tell you how to punish someone?
– Rory Alsop♦
Mar 23 at 19:00
add a comment |
I have a 14-year-old daughter. I found out that she has bought a bunch of thongs and thong body suits and thong bikinis. I also found a bunch of mini skirts and super short shorts. How should I punish her?
discipline teen clothes
edited Mar 23 at 14:21
Anne Daunted
2,18641128
asked Mar 23 at 2:31
AnnaAnna
11
New contributor
Anna is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
I have a 14-year-old daughter. I found out that she has bought a bunch of thongs and thong body suits and thong bikinis. I also found a bunch of mini skirts and super short shorts. How should I punish her?
discipline teen clothes
discipline teen clothes
edited Mar 23 at 14:21
Anne Daunted
2,18641128
asked Mar 23 at 2:31
AnnaAnna
11
New contributor
Anna is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
edited Mar 23 at 14:21
Anne Daunted
2,18641128
asked Mar 23 at 2:31
AnnaAnna
11
New contributor
Anna is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
edited Mar 23 at 14:21
Anne Daunted
2,18641128
edited Mar 23 at 14:21
Anne Daunted
2,18641128
edited Mar 23 at 14:21
Anne Daunted
2,18641128
2,18641128
asked Mar 23 at 2:31
AnnaAnna
11
New contributor
Anna is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked Mar 23 at 2:31
AnnaAnna
11
asked Mar 23 at 2:31
AnnaAnna
11
11
New contributor
Anna is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
New contributor
Anna is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Anna is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
put on hold as primarily opinion-based by Buzz, Anne Daunted, Rory Alsop♦ Mar 23 at 18:58
Many good questions generate some degree of opinion based on expert experience, but answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
put on hold as primarily opinion-based by Buzz, Anne Daunted, Rory Alsop♦ Mar 23 at 18:58
Many good questions generate some degree of opinion based on expert experience, but answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.
2
Hi and welcome to Parenting.SE! Please take the tour and read the help center. Unfortunately, your question is primarily opinion-based and too broad. It needs more details. Can you explain what your goal is, what you tried so far (e. g. did you speak to her and what did she say), how her behavior in general is? Did she buy them from her own money and are there restrictions what she is allowed to spend her money on etc.?
– Anne Daunted
Mar 23 at 14:24
You say that she needs to be punished, as if that's obvious. Why do you think that? Knowing your background and reasoning would help people provide good answers.
– user32494
Mar 23 at 17:28
3
I'm closing this for now, for various reasons. Your question doesn't properly articulate why this deserves punishment, but even if you did I think it would be too broad or opinion based. Why would you want strangers on the internet to tell you how to punish someone?
– Rory Alsop♦
Mar 23 at 19:00
add a comment |
2
Hi and welcome to Parenting.SE! Please take the tour and read the help center. Unfortunately, your question is primarily opinion-based and too broad. It needs more details. Can you explain what your goal is, what you tried so far (e. g. did you speak to her and what did she say), how her behavior in general is? Did she buy them from her own money and are there restrictions what she is allowed to spend her money on etc.?
– Anne Daunted
Mar 23 at 14:24
You say that she needs to be punished, as if that's obvious. Why do you think that? Knowing your background and reasoning would help people provide good answers.
– user32494
Mar 23 at 17:28
3
I'm closing this for now, for various reasons. Your question doesn't properly articulate why this deserves punishment, but even if you did I think it would be too broad or opinion based. Why would you want strangers on the internet to tell you how to punish someone?
– Rory Alsop♦
Mar 23 at 19:00
2
2
Hi and welcome to Parenting.SE! Please take the tour and read the help center. Unfortunately, your question is primarily opinion-based and too broad. It needs more details. Can you explain what your goal is, what you tried so far (e. g. did you speak to her and what did she say), how her behavior in general is? Did she buy them from her own money and are there restrictions what she is allowed to spend her money on etc.?
– Anne Daunted
Mar 23 at 14:24
Hi and welcome to Parenting.SE! Please take the tour and read the help center. Unfortunately, your question is primarily opinion-based and too broad. It needs more details. Can you explain what your goal is, what you tried so far (e. g. did you speak to her and what did she say), how her behavior in general is? Did she buy them from her own money and are there restrictions what she is allowed to spend her money on etc.?
– Anne Daunted
Mar 23 at 14:24
You say that she needs to be punished, as if that's obvious. Why do you think that? Knowing your background and reasoning would help people provide good answers.
– user32494
Mar 23 at 17:28
You say that she needs to be punished, as if that's obvious. Why do you think that? Knowing your background and reasoning would help people provide good answers.
– user32494
Mar 23 at 17:28
3
3
I'm closing this for now, for various reasons. Your question doesn't properly articulate why this deserves punishment, but even if you did I think it would be too broad or opinion based. Why would you want strangers on the internet to tell you how to punish someone?
– Rory Alsop♦
Mar 23 at 19:00
I'm closing this for now, for various reasons. Your question doesn't properly articulate why this deserves punishment, but even if you did I think it would be too broad or opinion based. Why would you want strangers on the internet to tell you how to punish someone?
– Rory Alsop♦
Mar 23 at 19:00
add a comment |
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
Punish her for what? Is it stolen money? Is she not allowed to purchase items with her money without your permission?
If you are instead wondering if you should punish her for buying ‘sexy’ undergarments, I would ask you what the offense is and what is the aim of the punishment?
It’s likely that, given the inescapable and constant social messaging to young women that they are empowered by being sexy, your daughter is starting to explore the supposed/media reinforced trappings of adult womanhood by buying ‘adult’ underwear. Growing up is not an offense.
To punish her will cause her to turn away from you - society tells her to do something you then punish her for it merely teaches her to have two ‘selves’, the one she shows you and the one she is in the world. This leaves you not knowing what she’s going through, unable to protect her, which I assume is your real fear, her being harmed.
Instead, perhaps take this opportunity to say to her that you value her for her brains/art/athleticism/anything that isn’t her looks, and that anyone who was attracted to her body and not her essence isn’t worth her time. That she’s so much more than a pretty face, and she’s enough all on her own. And that she can always say no, change her mind, and call you for a guilt free bail out any time.
Home should be a safe place to be yourself.
answered Mar 23 at 3:08
user35316user35316
5143
3
You might want to add that if anything, the child might need some help with the dangers of wearing this stuff and then posting pictures of it online, being pressured into wearing this, or who knows. The modern world makes it pretty easy to do dumb things as a teenager and being uninformed and punished makes for a lousy combo.
– Erik
Mar 23 at 7:02
add a comment |
Punishing her may not be the best idea. At such age, she is going through puberty and there are a lot of pressure on the brain due to physical changes, among other problems.
When a brain goes under such added pressure, such as puberty, a person consciously or unconsciously acts to find ways to reduce that pressure and gain confidence. Exercise and foods are the most common positive methods that some young people try to deal with such problems, and unfortunately drugs and alcohols are the negative ways that some young people try. In between these two, there are other activities such as what your daughter may be doing by trying new wears to accentuate her physical attractiveness and hopefully gain confidence.
Punishment might cause and create distance between you and your daughter. If you did not tell her anything yet, you may try to ignore that you know about it.
If you could, you may try helping her to become attracted to exercises/sports, if already not. It might be good, and help her to pass these difficult years rather easier.
I certainly understand you are protective of your daughter. However, not much can be done, as far as I'm concerned and I can think of, in the punishment path.
In sum, anything that you may do to help her gain confidence would be helpful.
Best wishes!
answered Mar 23 at 3:53
EmmaEmma
1295
New contributor
Emma is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
Punish her for what? Is it stolen money? Is she not allowed to purchase items with her money without your permission?
If you are instead wondering if you should punish her for buying ‘sexy’ undergarments, I would ask you what the offense is and what is the aim of the punishment?
It’s likely that, given the inescapable and constant social messaging to young women that they are empowered by being sexy, your daughter is starting to explore the supposed/media reinforced trappings of adult womanhood by buying ‘adult’ underwear. Growing up is not an offense.
To punish her will cause her to turn away from you - society tells her to do something you then punish her for it merely teaches her to have two ‘selves’, the one she shows you and the one she is in the world. This leaves you not knowing what she’s going through, unable to protect her, which I assume is your real fear, her being harmed.
Instead, perhaps take this opportunity to say to her that you value her for her brains/art/athleticism/anything that isn’t her looks, and that anyone who was attracted to her body and not her essence isn’t worth her time. That she’s so much more than a pretty face, and she’s enough all on her own. And that she can always say no, change her mind, and call you for a guilt free bail out any time.
Home should be a safe place to be yourself.
answered Mar 23 at 3:08
user35316user35316
5143
3
You might want to add that if anything, the child might need some help with the dangers of wearing this stuff and then posting pictures of it online, being pressured into wearing this, or who knows. The modern world makes it pretty easy to do dumb things as a teenager and being uninformed and punished makes for a lousy combo.
– Erik
Mar 23 at 7:02
add a comment |
Punish her for what? Is it stolen money? Is she not allowed to purchase items with her money without your permission?
If you are instead wondering if you should punish her for buying ‘sexy’ undergarments, I would ask you what the offense is and what is the aim of the punishment?
It’s likely that, given the inescapable and constant social messaging to young women that they are empowered by being sexy, your daughter is starting to explore the supposed/media reinforced trappings of adult womanhood by buying ‘adult’ underwear. Growing up is not an offense.
To punish her will cause her to turn away from you - society tells her to do something you then punish her for it merely teaches her to have two ‘selves’, the one she shows you and the one she is in the world. This leaves you not knowing what she’s going through, unable to protect her, which I assume is your real fear, her being harmed.
Instead, perhaps take this opportunity to say to her that you value her for her brains/art/athleticism/anything that isn’t her looks, and that anyone who was attracted to her body and not her essence isn’t worth her time. That she’s so much more than a pretty face, and she’s enough all on her own. And that she can always say no, change her mind, and call you for a guilt free bail out any time.
Home should be a safe place to be yourself.
answered Mar 23 at 3:08
user35316user35316
5143
3
You might want to add that if anything, the child might need some help with the dangers of wearing this stuff and then posting pictures of it online, being pressured into wearing this, or who knows. The modern world makes it pretty easy to do dumb things as a teenager and being uninformed and punished makes for a lousy combo.
– Erik
Mar 23 at 7:02
add a comment |
Punish her for what? Is it stolen money? Is she not allowed to purchase items with her money without your permission?
If you are instead wondering if you should punish her for buying ‘sexy’ undergarments, I would ask you what the offense is and what is the aim of the punishment?
It’s likely that, given the inescapable and constant social messaging to young women that they are empowered by being sexy, your daughter is starting to explore the supposed/media reinforced trappings of adult womanhood by buying ‘adult’ underwear. Growing up is not an offense.
To punish her will cause her to turn away from you - society tells her to do something you then punish her for it merely teaches her to have two ‘selves’, the one she shows you and the one she is in the world. This leaves you not knowing what she’s going through, unable to protect her, which I assume is your real fear, her being harmed.
Instead, perhaps take this opportunity to say to her that you value her for her brains/art/athleticism/anything that isn’t her looks, and that anyone who was attracted to her body and not her essence isn’t worth her time. That she’s so much more than a pretty face, and she’s enough all on her own. And that she can always say no, change her mind, and call you for a guilt free bail out any time.
Home should be a safe place to be yourself.
answered Mar 23 at 3:08
user35316user35316
5143
Punish her for what? Is it stolen money? Is she not allowed to purchase items with her money without your permission?
If you are instead wondering if you should punish her for buying ‘sexy’ undergarments, I would ask you what the offense is and what is the aim of the punishment?
It’s likely that, given the inescapable and constant social messaging to young women that they are empowered by being sexy, your daughter is starting to explore the supposed/media reinforced trappings of adult womanhood by buying ‘adult’ underwear. Growing up is not an offense.
To punish her will cause her to turn away from you - society tells her to do something you then punish her for it merely teaches her to have two ‘selves’, the one she shows you and the one she is in the world. This leaves you not knowing what she’s going through, unable to protect her, which I assume is your real fear, her being harmed.
Instead, perhaps take this opportunity to say to her that you value her for her brains/art/athleticism/anything that isn’t her looks, and that anyone who was attracted to her body and not her essence isn’t worth her time. That she’s so much more than a pretty face, and she’s enough all on her own. And that she can always say no, change her mind, and call you for a guilt free bail out any time.
Home should be a safe place to be yourself.
answered Mar 23 at 3:08
user35316user35316
5143
answered Mar 23 at 3:08
user35316user35316
5143
answered Mar 23 at 3:08
user35316user35316
5143
answered Mar 23 at 3:08
user35316user35316
5143
5143
3
You might want to add that if anything, the child might need some help with the dangers of wearing this stuff and then posting pictures of it online, being pressured into wearing this, or who knows. The modern world makes it pretty easy to do dumb things as a teenager and being uninformed and punished makes for a lousy combo.
– Erik
Mar 23 at 7:02
add a comment |
3
You might want to add that if anything, the child might need some help with the dangers of wearing this stuff and then posting pictures of it online, being pressured into wearing this, or who knows. The modern world makes it pretty easy to do dumb things as a teenager and being uninformed and punished makes for a lousy combo.
– Erik
Mar 23 at 7:02
3
3
You might want to add that if anything, the child might need some help with the dangers of wearing this stuff and then posting pictures of it online, being pressured into wearing this, or who knows. The modern world makes it pretty easy to do dumb things as a teenager and being uninformed and punished makes for a lousy combo.
– Erik
Mar 23 at 7:02
You might want to add that if anything, the child might need some help with the dangers of wearing this stuff and then posting pictures of it online, being pressured into wearing this, or who knows. The modern world makes it pretty easy to do dumb things as a teenager and being uninformed and punished makes for a lousy combo.
– Erik
Mar 23 at 7:02
add a comment |
Punishing her may not be the best idea. At such age, she is going through puberty and there are a lot of pressure on the brain due to physical changes, among other problems.
When a brain goes under such added pressure, such as puberty, a person consciously or unconsciously acts to find ways to reduce that pressure and gain confidence. Exercise and foods are the most common positive methods that some young people try to deal with such problems, and unfortunately drugs and alcohols are the negative ways that some young people try. In between these two, there are other activities such as what your daughter may be doing by trying new wears to accentuate her physical attractiveness and hopefully gain confidence.
Punishment might cause and create distance between you and your daughter. If you did not tell her anything yet, you may try to ignore that you know about it.
If you could, you may try helping her to become attracted to exercises/sports, if already not. It might be good, and help her to pass these difficult years rather easier.
I certainly understand you are protective of your daughter. However, not much can be done, as far as I'm concerned and I can think of, in the punishment path.
In sum, anything that you may do to help her gain confidence would be helpful.
Best wishes!
answered Mar 23 at 3:53
EmmaEmma
1295
New contributor
Emma is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
Punishing her may not be the best idea. At such age, she is going through puberty and there are a lot of pressure on the brain due to physical changes, among other problems.
When a brain goes under such added pressure, such as puberty, a person consciously or unconsciously acts to find ways to reduce that pressure and gain confidence. Exercise and foods are the most common positive methods that some young people try to deal with such problems, and unfortunately drugs and alcohols are the negative ways that some young people try. In between these two, there are other activities such as what your daughter may be doing by trying new wears to accentuate her physical attractiveness and hopefully gain confidence.
Punishment might cause and create distance between you and your daughter. If you did not tell her anything yet, you may try to ignore that you know about it.
If you could, you may try helping her to become attracted to exercises/sports, if already not. It might be good, and help her to pass these difficult years rather easier.
I certainly understand you are protective of your daughter. However, not much can be done, as far as I'm concerned and I can think of, in the punishment path.
In sum, anything that you may do to help her gain confidence would be helpful.
Best wishes!
answered Mar 23 at 3:53
EmmaEmma
1295
New contributor
Emma is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
Punishing her may not be the best idea. At such age, she is going through puberty and there are a lot of pressure on the brain due to physical changes, among other problems.
When a brain goes under such added pressure, such as puberty, a person consciously or unconsciously acts to find ways to reduce that pressure and gain confidence. Exercise and foods are the most common positive methods that some young people try to deal with such problems, and unfortunately drugs and alcohols are the negative ways that some young people try. In between these two, there are other activities such as what your daughter may be doing by trying new wears to accentuate her physical attractiveness and hopefully gain confidence.
Punishment might cause and create distance between you and your daughter. If you did not tell her anything yet, you may try to ignore that you know about it.
If you could, you may try helping her to become attracted to exercises/sports, if already not. It might be good, and help her to pass these difficult years rather easier.
I certainly understand you are protective of your daughter. However, not much can be done, as far as I'm concerned and I can think of, in the punishment path.
In sum, anything that you may do to help her gain confidence would be helpful.
Best wishes!
answered Mar 23 at 3:53
EmmaEmma
1295
New contributor
Emma is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Punishing her may not be the best idea. At such age, she is going through puberty and there are a lot of pressure on the brain due to physical changes, among other problems.
When a brain goes under such added pressure, such as puberty, a person consciously or unconsciously acts to find ways to reduce that pressure and gain confidence. Exercise and foods are the most common positive methods that some young people try to deal with such problems, and unfortunately drugs and alcohols are the negative ways that some young people try. In between these two, there are other activities such as what your daughter may be doing by trying new wears to accentuate her physical attractiveness and hopefully gain confidence.
Punishment might cause and create distance between you and your daughter. If you did not tell her anything yet, you may try to ignore that you know about it.
If you could, you may try helping her to become attracted to exercises/sports, if already not. It might be good, and help her to pass these difficult years rather easier.
I certainly understand you are protective of your daughter. However, not much can be done, as far as I'm concerned and I can think of, in the punishment path.
In sum, anything that you may do to help her gain confidence would be helpful.
Best wishes!
answered Mar 23 at 3:53
EmmaEmma
1295
New contributor
Emma is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
edited Mar 23 at 4:14
answered Mar 23 at 3:53
EmmaEmma
1295
New contributor
Emma is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
answered Mar 23 at 3:53
EmmaEmma
1295
answered Mar 23 at 3:53
EmmaEmma
1295
1295
New contributor
Emma is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
New contributor
Emma is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Emma is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
add a comment |
2
Hi and welcome to Parenting.SE! Please take the tour and read the help center. Unfortunately, your question is primarily opinion-based and too broad. It needs more details. Can you explain what your goal is, what you tried so far (e. g. did you speak to her and what did she say), how her behavior in general is? Did she buy them from her own money and are there restrictions what she is allowed to spend her money on etc.?
– Anne Daunted
Mar 23 at 14:24
You say that she needs to be punished, as if that's obvious. Why do you think that? Knowing your background and reasoning would help people provide good answers.
– user32494
Mar 23 at 17:28
3
I'm closing this for now, for various reasons. Your question doesn't properly articulate why this deserves punishment, but even if you did I think it would be too broad or opinion based. Why would you want strangers on the internet to tell you how to punish someone?
– Rory Alsop♦
Mar 23 at 19:00