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Personal or impersonal in a technical resume


What's the best practice for displaying a personal website url in a resume?Write a resume objective that expresses my desire to hone and sharpen my skillsResume Preamble: Sounds wrongHow do I rewrite the following for a resume?What content parts should a technical (IT) CV have?Can I use an abbreviated two-digit format for year in a resume?Need recommendation re: online resume formatHow would I give a reference of my YouTube channel in the Resume?Writing accomplishments on a resumeHow can I avoid using I repetitively in a resume/about me?













12















In CVs or on Linkedin profiles there are often spaces dedicated to past experience.



In those sections, one is supposed to describe what work he/she did and what skills he/she acquired on previous workplaces/projects.



In this context, is it better to describe the experience in a personal or impersonal way?



A personal way (e.g. first person) underlines the subjects:




Project X



While assigned to Project X, I've learned how to mix dangerous chemical ingredients in a cauldron to bring out their hidden potential. Eventually, along with my team, we pushed further the research on superhuman abilities.




An impersonal way, to my understanding, underlines the skills acquired:




Project X



Manufacturing and treating of dangerous chemical ingredients. Testing of superhuman abilities in a controlled environment. Eating of snacks in the down times.











share|improve this question

















  • 2





    with unemployment at 3.8%.. you can go with EITHER approach ...

    – ashleylee
    Mar 20 at 17:14






  • 3





    the key thing problem these days isn't getting offers.... but getting a good salary.

    – ashleylee
    Mar 20 at 17:20











  • The "personal" one is sooo much better.

    – Cyn
    Mar 20 at 22:56






  • 1





    @Cyn to be fair, I'd like to work in the superhuman abilities field.

    – Liquid
    Mar 20 at 23:09






  • 1





    Depends where the resume is going. Most resumes are (initially) read by software, not humans. One advantage of b) is it's 30% more concise (36% if you remove the superfluous "of"s and "in downtime").

    – smci
    Mar 21 at 0:29















12















In CVs or on Linkedin profiles there are often spaces dedicated to past experience.



In those sections, one is supposed to describe what work he/she did and what skills he/she acquired on previous workplaces/projects.



In this context, is it better to describe the experience in a personal or impersonal way?



A personal way (e.g. first person) underlines the subjects:




Project X



While assigned to Project X, I've learned how to mix dangerous chemical ingredients in a cauldron to bring out their hidden potential. Eventually, along with my team, we pushed further the research on superhuman abilities.




An impersonal way, to my understanding, underlines the skills acquired:




Project X



Manufacturing and treating of dangerous chemical ingredients. Testing of superhuman abilities in a controlled environment. Eating of snacks in the down times.











share|improve this question

















  • 2





    with unemployment at 3.8%.. you can go with EITHER approach ...

    – ashleylee
    Mar 20 at 17:14






  • 3





    the key thing problem these days isn't getting offers.... but getting a good salary.

    – ashleylee
    Mar 20 at 17:20











  • The "personal" one is sooo much better.

    – Cyn
    Mar 20 at 22:56






  • 1





    @Cyn to be fair, I'd like to work in the superhuman abilities field.

    – Liquid
    Mar 20 at 23:09






  • 1





    Depends where the resume is going. Most resumes are (initially) read by software, not humans. One advantage of b) is it's 30% more concise (36% if you remove the superfluous "of"s and "in downtime").

    – smci
    Mar 21 at 0:29













12












12








12


2






In CVs or on Linkedin profiles there are often spaces dedicated to past experience.



In those sections, one is supposed to describe what work he/she did and what skills he/she acquired on previous workplaces/projects.



In this context, is it better to describe the experience in a personal or impersonal way?



A personal way (e.g. first person) underlines the subjects:




Project X



While assigned to Project X, I've learned how to mix dangerous chemical ingredients in a cauldron to bring out their hidden potential. Eventually, along with my team, we pushed further the research on superhuman abilities.




An impersonal way, to my understanding, underlines the skills acquired:




Project X



Manufacturing and treating of dangerous chemical ingredients. Testing of superhuman abilities in a controlled environment. Eating of snacks in the down times.











share|improve this question














In CVs or on Linkedin profiles there are often spaces dedicated to past experience.



In those sections, one is supposed to describe what work he/she did and what skills he/she acquired on previous workplaces/projects.



In this context, is it better to describe the experience in a personal or impersonal way?



A personal way (e.g. first person) underlines the subjects:




Project X



While assigned to Project X, I've learned how to mix dangerous chemical ingredients in a cauldron to bring out their hidden potential. Eventually, along with my team, we pushed further the research on superhuman abilities.




An impersonal way, to my understanding, underlines the skills acquired:




Project X



Manufacturing and treating of dangerous chemical ingredients. Testing of superhuman abilities in a controlled environment. Eating of snacks in the down times.








technical-writing resume






share|improve this question













share|improve this question











share|improve this question




share|improve this question










asked Mar 20 at 15:55









LiquidLiquid

8,17121868




8,17121868







  • 2





    with unemployment at 3.8%.. you can go with EITHER approach ...

    – ashleylee
    Mar 20 at 17:14






  • 3





    the key thing problem these days isn't getting offers.... but getting a good salary.

    – ashleylee
    Mar 20 at 17:20











  • The "personal" one is sooo much better.

    – Cyn
    Mar 20 at 22:56






  • 1





    @Cyn to be fair, I'd like to work in the superhuman abilities field.

    – Liquid
    Mar 20 at 23:09






  • 1





    Depends where the resume is going. Most resumes are (initially) read by software, not humans. One advantage of b) is it's 30% more concise (36% if you remove the superfluous "of"s and "in downtime").

    – smci
    Mar 21 at 0:29












  • 2





    with unemployment at 3.8%.. you can go with EITHER approach ...

    – ashleylee
    Mar 20 at 17:14






  • 3





    the key thing problem these days isn't getting offers.... but getting a good salary.

    – ashleylee
    Mar 20 at 17:20











  • The "personal" one is sooo much better.

    – Cyn
    Mar 20 at 22:56






  • 1





    @Cyn to be fair, I'd like to work in the superhuman abilities field.

    – Liquid
    Mar 20 at 23:09






  • 1





    Depends where the resume is going. Most resumes are (initially) read by software, not humans. One advantage of b) is it's 30% more concise (36% if you remove the superfluous "of"s and "in downtime").

    – smci
    Mar 21 at 0:29







2




2





with unemployment at 3.8%.. you can go with EITHER approach ...

– ashleylee
Mar 20 at 17:14





with unemployment at 3.8%.. you can go with EITHER approach ...

– ashleylee
Mar 20 at 17:14




3




3





the key thing problem these days isn't getting offers.... but getting a good salary.

– ashleylee
Mar 20 at 17:20





the key thing problem these days isn't getting offers.... but getting a good salary.

– ashleylee
Mar 20 at 17:20













The "personal" one is sooo much better.

– Cyn
Mar 20 at 22:56





The "personal" one is sooo much better.

– Cyn
Mar 20 at 22:56




1




1





@Cyn to be fair, I'd like to work in the superhuman abilities field.

– Liquid
Mar 20 at 23:09





@Cyn to be fair, I'd like to work in the superhuman abilities field.

– Liquid
Mar 20 at 23:09




1




1





Depends where the resume is going. Most resumes are (initially) read by software, not humans. One advantage of b) is it's 30% more concise (36% if you remove the superfluous "of"s and "in downtime").

– smci
Mar 21 at 0:29





Depends where the resume is going. Most resumes are (initially) read by software, not humans. One advantage of b) is it's 30% more concise (36% if you remove the superfluous "of"s and "in downtime").

– smci
Mar 21 at 0:29










4 Answers
4






active

oldest

votes


















12














While I get the feeling this might get deemed "opinion based" I've reviewed a few hundred technical CVs in my time (for my sins) so here goes nothing!



Personal



Use of "I.." or "My role.." type statements a) humanize you so the person reading the CV can see you as a human being rather than just the CV and b) they tie the achievements to you. Impersonal does emphasize the skills but that's what a Skills section is for. When describing the experience you want to emphasize the person getting that experience (i.e. the person whose CV it is).



PS: If you ever want a friendly eye casting over your CV there's usually someone in Workplace SE chat who'll take a look for you.






share|improve this answer






























    10














    I would skip the poetry, but use the personal approach.




    Project X



    I had several duties on this project. My primary responsibility was mixing dangerous chemicals in a cauldron for various experiments, including an attempt to liquefy kryptonite. In my second year on this project, I joined a team devising new procedures for testing the limits of Spiderman's strength, and how far Batman can throw a Batarang. We also attempted to test the upper limit of how much marijuana Snoop Dogg can smoke, however, due to experimental design errors, we failed to find a definitive limit.




    I have read many resumes; and I find this "formal personal" approach the easiest to read.






    share|improve this answer






























      2














      The personal style has one big advantage, especially for people who are a bit shy about "selling themselves".



      If your sentences start with "I", they are (by definition) about what you actually did.



      In the impersonal style, it's easy to slip into describing what your team, or your employer, did (e.g. they made $$$$ selling this wonderful world-leading product that was developed while you worked there), but missing out on what you personally contributed to that success story - and your personal contribution is the only thing that readers of your CV are interested in.



      In the OP's examples, the "impersonal" version doesn't actually say anything about what the OP. For all the reader knows, he/she just cleaned the office floor once a week - and someone processing a stack of job applicants, who only has an hour to scan through 50 such CV's isn't going to see anything there that grabs his/her attention.



      (If you think processing 50 or even 100 CVs in a hour "isn't fair" on the applicants - well, life isn't fair, and that's often what happens.)






      share|improve this answer
































        0














        A common convention is to use the personal approach but skip most first-person pronouns to avoid repeating them too much:




        • Determined how to mix dangerous chemical ingredients in a cauldron to bring out their hidden potential.

        • Pushed further the research on superhuman abilities.



        Too many “I”s is unpleasantly repetitive and can sound vain.






        share|improve this answer

























        • Going out of your way to avoid using pronouns makes the text harder to read and bit vague in tone about whether you were the one doing these things.

          – Ville Niemi
          Mar 21 at 1:18











        • @VilleNiemi Depends on how exactly it’s organized. If it’s bullet points, then not starting each one with “I” is certainly the way to go. If it’s a short text, a different approach could make sense. Either way a possibility of having too many “I”s is something to keep in mind.

          – Roman Odaisky
          Mar 21 at 1:35












        • Yeah, I could see it working with bullet point. And you are absolutely correct about avoiding too many of any word in a fairly condensed text. Your answer just doesn't make those valid points clear IMO. Maybe edit your comment into the answer?

          – Ville Niemi
          Mar 21 at 1:42










        Your Answer








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        4 Answers
        4






        active

        oldest

        votes








        4 Answers
        4






        active

        oldest

        votes









        active

        oldest

        votes






        active

        oldest

        votes









        12














        While I get the feeling this might get deemed "opinion based" I've reviewed a few hundred technical CVs in my time (for my sins) so here goes nothing!



        Personal



        Use of "I.." or "My role.." type statements a) humanize you so the person reading the CV can see you as a human being rather than just the CV and b) they tie the achievements to you. Impersonal does emphasize the skills but that's what a Skills section is for. When describing the experience you want to emphasize the person getting that experience (i.e. the person whose CV it is).



        PS: If you ever want a friendly eye casting over your CV there's usually someone in Workplace SE chat who'll take a look for you.






        share|improve this answer



























          12














          While I get the feeling this might get deemed "opinion based" I've reviewed a few hundred technical CVs in my time (for my sins) so here goes nothing!



          Personal



          Use of "I.." or "My role.." type statements a) humanize you so the person reading the CV can see you as a human being rather than just the CV and b) they tie the achievements to you. Impersonal does emphasize the skills but that's what a Skills section is for. When describing the experience you want to emphasize the person getting that experience (i.e. the person whose CV it is).



          PS: If you ever want a friendly eye casting over your CV there's usually someone in Workplace SE chat who'll take a look for you.






          share|improve this answer

























            12












            12








            12







            While I get the feeling this might get deemed "opinion based" I've reviewed a few hundred technical CVs in my time (for my sins) so here goes nothing!



            Personal



            Use of "I.." or "My role.." type statements a) humanize you so the person reading the CV can see you as a human being rather than just the CV and b) they tie the achievements to you. Impersonal does emphasize the skills but that's what a Skills section is for. When describing the experience you want to emphasize the person getting that experience (i.e. the person whose CV it is).



            PS: If you ever want a friendly eye casting over your CV there's usually someone in Workplace SE chat who'll take a look for you.






            share|improve this answer













            While I get the feeling this might get deemed "opinion based" I've reviewed a few hundred technical CVs in my time (for my sins) so here goes nothing!



            Personal



            Use of "I.." or "My role.." type statements a) humanize you so the person reading the CV can see you as a human being rather than just the CV and b) they tie the achievements to you. Impersonal does emphasize the skills but that's what a Skills section is for. When describing the experience you want to emphasize the person getting that experience (i.e. the person whose CV it is).



            PS: If you ever want a friendly eye casting over your CV there's usually someone in Workplace SE chat who'll take a look for you.







            share|improve this answer












            share|improve this answer



            share|improve this answer










            answered Mar 20 at 16:07









            motosubatsumotosubatsu

            1,236115




            1,236115





















                10














                I would skip the poetry, but use the personal approach.




                Project X



                I had several duties on this project. My primary responsibility was mixing dangerous chemicals in a cauldron for various experiments, including an attempt to liquefy kryptonite. In my second year on this project, I joined a team devising new procedures for testing the limits of Spiderman's strength, and how far Batman can throw a Batarang. We also attempted to test the upper limit of how much marijuana Snoop Dogg can smoke, however, due to experimental design errors, we failed to find a definitive limit.




                I have read many resumes; and I find this "formal personal" approach the easiest to read.






                share|improve this answer



























                  10














                  I would skip the poetry, but use the personal approach.




                  Project X



                  I had several duties on this project. My primary responsibility was mixing dangerous chemicals in a cauldron for various experiments, including an attempt to liquefy kryptonite. In my second year on this project, I joined a team devising new procedures for testing the limits of Spiderman's strength, and how far Batman can throw a Batarang. We also attempted to test the upper limit of how much marijuana Snoop Dogg can smoke, however, due to experimental design errors, we failed to find a definitive limit.




                  I have read many resumes; and I find this "formal personal" approach the easiest to read.






                  share|improve this answer

























                    10












                    10








                    10







                    I would skip the poetry, but use the personal approach.




                    Project X



                    I had several duties on this project. My primary responsibility was mixing dangerous chemicals in a cauldron for various experiments, including an attempt to liquefy kryptonite. In my second year on this project, I joined a team devising new procedures for testing the limits of Spiderman's strength, and how far Batman can throw a Batarang. We also attempted to test the upper limit of how much marijuana Snoop Dogg can smoke, however, due to experimental design errors, we failed to find a definitive limit.




                    I have read many resumes; and I find this "formal personal" approach the easiest to read.






                    share|improve this answer













                    I would skip the poetry, but use the personal approach.




                    Project X



                    I had several duties on this project. My primary responsibility was mixing dangerous chemicals in a cauldron for various experiments, including an attempt to liquefy kryptonite. In my second year on this project, I joined a team devising new procedures for testing the limits of Spiderman's strength, and how far Batman can throw a Batarang. We also attempted to test the upper limit of how much marijuana Snoop Dogg can smoke, however, due to experimental design errors, we failed to find a definitive limit.




                    I have read many resumes; and I find this "formal personal" approach the easiest to read.







                    share|improve this answer












                    share|improve this answer



                    share|improve this answer










                    answered Mar 20 at 16:07









                    AmadeusAmadeus

                    56.4k572183




                    56.4k572183





















                        2














                        The personal style has one big advantage, especially for people who are a bit shy about "selling themselves".



                        If your sentences start with "I", they are (by definition) about what you actually did.



                        In the impersonal style, it's easy to slip into describing what your team, or your employer, did (e.g. they made $$$$ selling this wonderful world-leading product that was developed while you worked there), but missing out on what you personally contributed to that success story - and your personal contribution is the only thing that readers of your CV are interested in.



                        In the OP's examples, the "impersonal" version doesn't actually say anything about what the OP. For all the reader knows, he/she just cleaned the office floor once a week - and someone processing a stack of job applicants, who only has an hour to scan through 50 such CV's isn't going to see anything there that grabs his/her attention.



                        (If you think processing 50 or even 100 CVs in a hour "isn't fair" on the applicants - well, life isn't fair, and that's often what happens.)






                        share|improve this answer





























                          2














                          The personal style has one big advantage, especially for people who are a bit shy about "selling themselves".



                          If your sentences start with "I", they are (by definition) about what you actually did.



                          In the impersonal style, it's easy to slip into describing what your team, or your employer, did (e.g. they made $$$$ selling this wonderful world-leading product that was developed while you worked there), but missing out on what you personally contributed to that success story - and your personal contribution is the only thing that readers of your CV are interested in.



                          In the OP's examples, the "impersonal" version doesn't actually say anything about what the OP. For all the reader knows, he/she just cleaned the office floor once a week - and someone processing a stack of job applicants, who only has an hour to scan through 50 such CV's isn't going to see anything there that grabs his/her attention.



                          (If you think processing 50 or even 100 CVs in a hour "isn't fair" on the applicants - well, life isn't fair, and that's often what happens.)






                          share|improve this answer



























                            2












                            2








                            2







                            The personal style has one big advantage, especially for people who are a bit shy about "selling themselves".



                            If your sentences start with "I", they are (by definition) about what you actually did.



                            In the impersonal style, it's easy to slip into describing what your team, or your employer, did (e.g. they made $$$$ selling this wonderful world-leading product that was developed while you worked there), but missing out on what you personally contributed to that success story - and your personal contribution is the only thing that readers of your CV are interested in.



                            In the OP's examples, the "impersonal" version doesn't actually say anything about what the OP. For all the reader knows, he/she just cleaned the office floor once a week - and someone processing a stack of job applicants, who only has an hour to scan through 50 such CV's isn't going to see anything there that grabs his/her attention.



                            (If you think processing 50 or even 100 CVs in a hour "isn't fair" on the applicants - well, life isn't fair, and that's often what happens.)






                            share|improve this answer















                            The personal style has one big advantage, especially for people who are a bit shy about "selling themselves".



                            If your sentences start with "I", they are (by definition) about what you actually did.



                            In the impersonal style, it's easy to slip into describing what your team, or your employer, did (e.g. they made $$$$ selling this wonderful world-leading product that was developed while you worked there), but missing out on what you personally contributed to that success story - and your personal contribution is the only thing that readers of your CV are interested in.



                            In the OP's examples, the "impersonal" version doesn't actually say anything about what the OP. For all the reader knows, he/she just cleaned the office floor once a week - and someone processing a stack of job applicants, who only has an hour to scan through 50 such CV's isn't going to see anything there that grabs his/her attention.



                            (If you think processing 50 or even 100 CVs in a hour "isn't fair" on the applicants - well, life isn't fair, and that's often what happens.)







                            share|improve this answer














                            share|improve this answer



                            share|improve this answer








                            edited Mar 20 at 23:56

























                            answered Mar 20 at 23:50









                            alephzeroalephzero

                            2212




                            2212





















                                0














                                A common convention is to use the personal approach but skip most first-person pronouns to avoid repeating them too much:




                                • Determined how to mix dangerous chemical ingredients in a cauldron to bring out their hidden potential.

                                • Pushed further the research on superhuman abilities.



                                Too many “I”s is unpleasantly repetitive and can sound vain.






                                share|improve this answer

























                                • Going out of your way to avoid using pronouns makes the text harder to read and bit vague in tone about whether you were the one doing these things.

                                  – Ville Niemi
                                  Mar 21 at 1:18











                                • @VilleNiemi Depends on how exactly it’s organized. If it’s bullet points, then not starting each one with “I” is certainly the way to go. If it’s a short text, a different approach could make sense. Either way a possibility of having too many “I”s is something to keep in mind.

                                  – Roman Odaisky
                                  Mar 21 at 1:35












                                • Yeah, I could see it working with bullet point. And you are absolutely correct about avoiding too many of any word in a fairly condensed text. Your answer just doesn't make those valid points clear IMO. Maybe edit your comment into the answer?

                                  – Ville Niemi
                                  Mar 21 at 1:42















                                0














                                A common convention is to use the personal approach but skip most first-person pronouns to avoid repeating them too much:




                                • Determined how to mix dangerous chemical ingredients in a cauldron to bring out their hidden potential.

                                • Pushed further the research on superhuman abilities.



                                Too many “I”s is unpleasantly repetitive and can sound vain.






                                share|improve this answer

























                                • Going out of your way to avoid using pronouns makes the text harder to read and bit vague in tone about whether you were the one doing these things.

                                  – Ville Niemi
                                  Mar 21 at 1:18











                                • @VilleNiemi Depends on how exactly it’s organized. If it’s bullet points, then not starting each one with “I” is certainly the way to go. If it’s a short text, a different approach could make sense. Either way a possibility of having too many “I”s is something to keep in mind.

                                  – Roman Odaisky
                                  Mar 21 at 1:35












                                • Yeah, I could see it working with bullet point. And you are absolutely correct about avoiding too many of any word in a fairly condensed text. Your answer just doesn't make those valid points clear IMO. Maybe edit your comment into the answer?

                                  – Ville Niemi
                                  Mar 21 at 1:42













                                0












                                0








                                0







                                A common convention is to use the personal approach but skip most first-person pronouns to avoid repeating them too much:




                                • Determined how to mix dangerous chemical ingredients in a cauldron to bring out their hidden potential.

                                • Pushed further the research on superhuman abilities.



                                Too many “I”s is unpleasantly repetitive and can sound vain.






                                share|improve this answer















                                A common convention is to use the personal approach but skip most first-person pronouns to avoid repeating them too much:




                                • Determined how to mix dangerous chemical ingredients in a cauldron to bring out their hidden potential.

                                • Pushed further the research on superhuman abilities.



                                Too many “I”s is unpleasantly repetitive and can sound vain.







                                share|improve this answer














                                share|improve this answer



                                share|improve this answer








                                edited Mar 21 at 13:25

























                                answered Mar 21 at 1:02









                                Roman OdaiskyRoman Odaisky

                                1493




                                1493












                                • Going out of your way to avoid using pronouns makes the text harder to read and bit vague in tone about whether you were the one doing these things.

                                  – Ville Niemi
                                  Mar 21 at 1:18











                                • @VilleNiemi Depends on how exactly it’s organized. If it’s bullet points, then not starting each one with “I” is certainly the way to go. If it’s a short text, a different approach could make sense. Either way a possibility of having too many “I”s is something to keep in mind.

                                  – Roman Odaisky
                                  Mar 21 at 1:35












                                • Yeah, I could see it working with bullet point. And you are absolutely correct about avoiding too many of any word in a fairly condensed text. Your answer just doesn't make those valid points clear IMO. Maybe edit your comment into the answer?

                                  – Ville Niemi
                                  Mar 21 at 1:42

















                                • Going out of your way to avoid using pronouns makes the text harder to read and bit vague in tone about whether you were the one doing these things.

                                  – Ville Niemi
                                  Mar 21 at 1:18











                                • @VilleNiemi Depends on how exactly it’s organized. If it’s bullet points, then not starting each one with “I” is certainly the way to go. If it’s a short text, a different approach could make sense. Either way a possibility of having too many “I”s is something to keep in mind.

                                  – Roman Odaisky
                                  Mar 21 at 1:35












                                • Yeah, I could see it working with bullet point. And you are absolutely correct about avoiding too many of any word in a fairly condensed text. Your answer just doesn't make those valid points clear IMO. Maybe edit your comment into the answer?

                                  – Ville Niemi
                                  Mar 21 at 1:42
















                                Going out of your way to avoid using pronouns makes the text harder to read and bit vague in tone about whether you were the one doing these things.

                                – Ville Niemi
                                Mar 21 at 1:18





                                Going out of your way to avoid using pronouns makes the text harder to read and bit vague in tone about whether you were the one doing these things.

                                – Ville Niemi
                                Mar 21 at 1:18













                                @VilleNiemi Depends on how exactly it’s organized. If it’s bullet points, then not starting each one with “I” is certainly the way to go. If it’s a short text, a different approach could make sense. Either way a possibility of having too many “I”s is something to keep in mind.

                                – Roman Odaisky
                                Mar 21 at 1:35






                                @VilleNiemi Depends on how exactly it’s organized. If it’s bullet points, then not starting each one with “I” is certainly the way to go. If it’s a short text, a different approach could make sense. Either way a possibility of having too many “I”s is something to keep in mind.

                                – Roman Odaisky
                                Mar 21 at 1:35














                                Yeah, I could see it working with bullet point. And you are absolutely correct about avoiding too many of any word in a fairly condensed text. Your answer just doesn't make those valid points clear IMO. Maybe edit your comment into the answer?

                                – Ville Niemi
                                Mar 21 at 1:42





                                Yeah, I could see it working with bullet point. And you are absolutely correct about avoiding too many of any word in a fairly condensed text. Your answer just doesn't make those valid points clear IMO. Maybe edit your comment into the answer?

                                – Ville Niemi
                                Mar 21 at 1:42

















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