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Professor being mistaken for a grad student


Mistook new faculty member to be a student, how big a faux pas is it?Advice for early grad student: how to professionally present tentative research idea(s) before one has chosen a topicEtiquette/social norms for a grad student toward a faculty going on sabbaticalWhat is the etiquette for using empty desks in a communal grad student office?In the US as a grad student, is it normal to ask a professor for “extra” grant money for doing more research?Is dishonesty sufficient to terminate a grad student?Mistook new faculty member to be a student, how big a faux pas is it?When to withdraw/is this professor being reasonable?Professor creates assignment making students advocate for a bill being presented to Congress. Is this legal?Etiquette for returning to do research as grad student in same field as undergrad lab in same institutionIs being socially reclusive okay for a graduate student?













47















This question is the flip side of Mistook new faculty member to be a student, how big a faux pas is it?



I'm an associate professor, and apparently I look young for my age. When I meet new people at conferences, they often start the conversation with something like "So, are you a grad student or a postdoc?" It doesn't particularly bother me in itself, but when I politely say something like "Actually, I'm faculty", they get embarrassed and it kind of puts a damper on the conversation. I think this sort of thing has probably spoiled a few potential networking opportunities for me.



  • Are there more tactful ways I can respond to this kind of mistake?


  • Are there things I could do to "look" more like a professor? I already dress reasonably neatly (e.g. no T-shirts) and faculty in my field don't normally dress up much more than that. Should I carry a briefcase instead of a backpack, or something like that?


(I happen to be cis male, work in mathematics, and live in the US, but it would be good to have more generally applicable answers if possible.)










share|improve this question



















  • 86





    Did you forget to attach your complimentary elbow patches?

    – pipe
    yesterday






  • 24





    Hmmm. It will pass.

    – Buffy
    yesterday






  • 25





    People frequently ask me who my advisor is. I usually say "god, I wish I still had one".

    – xLeitix
    yesterday






  • 20





    Excessive drinking, excessive smoking, excessive drug use, and lack of sleep. In three years time, you'd look far older than your actual age.

    – Ink blot
    yesterday






  • 18





    Mandatory phd comics link: phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=1841

    – Pere
    yesterday















47















This question is the flip side of Mistook new faculty member to be a student, how big a faux pas is it?



I'm an associate professor, and apparently I look young for my age. When I meet new people at conferences, they often start the conversation with something like "So, are you a grad student or a postdoc?" It doesn't particularly bother me in itself, but when I politely say something like "Actually, I'm faculty", they get embarrassed and it kind of puts a damper on the conversation. I think this sort of thing has probably spoiled a few potential networking opportunities for me.



  • Are there more tactful ways I can respond to this kind of mistake?


  • Are there things I could do to "look" more like a professor? I already dress reasonably neatly (e.g. no T-shirts) and faculty in my field don't normally dress up much more than that. Should I carry a briefcase instead of a backpack, or something like that?


(I happen to be cis male, work in mathematics, and live in the US, but it would be good to have more generally applicable answers if possible.)










share|improve this question



















  • 86





    Did you forget to attach your complimentary elbow patches?

    – pipe
    yesterday






  • 24





    Hmmm. It will pass.

    – Buffy
    yesterday






  • 25





    People frequently ask me who my advisor is. I usually say "god, I wish I still had one".

    – xLeitix
    yesterday






  • 20





    Excessive drinking, excessive smoking, excessive drug use, and lack of sleep. In three years time, you'd look far older than your actual age.

    – Ink blot
    yesterday






  • 18





    Mandatory phd comics link: phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=1841

    – Pere
    yesterday













47












47








47


5






This question is the flip side of Mistook new faculty member to be a student, how big a faux pas is it?



I'm an associate professor, and apparently I look young for my age. When I meet new people at conferences, they often start the conversation with something like "So, are you a grad student or a postdoc?" It doesn't particularly bother me in itself, but when I politely say something like "Actually, I'm faculty", they get embarrassed and it kind of puts a damper on the conversation. I think this sort of thing has probably spoiled a few potential networking opportunities for me.



  • Are there more tactful ways I can respond to this kind of mistake?


  • Are there things I could do to "look" more like a professor? I already dress reasonably neatly (e.g. no T-shirts) and faculty in my field don't normally dress up much more than that. Should I carry a briefcase instead of a backpack, or something like that?


(I happen to be cis male, work in mathematics, and live in the US, but it would be good to have more generally applicable answers if possible.)










share|improve this question
















This question is the flip side of Mistook new faculty member to be a student, how big a faux pas is it?



I'm an associate professor, and apparently I look young for my age. When I meet new people at conferences, they often start the conversation with something like "So, are you a grad student or a postdoc?" It doesn't particularly bother me in itself, but when I politely say something like "Actually, I'm faculty", they get embarrassed and it kind of puts a damper on the conversation. I think this sort of thing has probably spoiled a few potential networking opportunities for me.



  • Are there more tactful ways I can respond to this kind of mistake?


  • Are there things I could do to "look" more like a professor? I already dress reasonably neatly (e.g. no T-shirts) and faculty in my field don't normally dress up much more than that. Should I carry a briefcase instead of a backpack, or something like that?


(I happen to be cis male, work in mathematics, and live in the US, but it would be good to have more generally applicable answers if possible.)







etiquette united-states social-skills






share|improve this question















share|improve this question













share|improve this question




share|improve this question








edited yesterday









jakebeal

148k31531774




148k31531774










asked yesterday









Nate EldredgeNate Eldredge

107k34309408




107k34309408







  • 86





    Did you forget to attach your complimentary elbow patches?

    – pipe
    yesterday






  • 24





    Hmmm. It will pass.

    – Buffy
    yesterday






  • 25





    People frequently ask me who my advisor is. I usually say "god, I wish I still had one".

    – xLeitix
    yesterday






  • 20





    Excessive drinking, excessive smoking, excessive drug use, and lack of sleep. In three years time, you'd look far older than your actual age.

    – Ink blot
    yesterday






  • 18





    Mandatory phd comics link: phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=1841

    – Pere
    yesterday












  • 86





    Did you forget to attach your complimentary elbow patches?

    – pipe
    yesterday






  • 24





    Hmmm. It will pass.

    – Buffy
    yesterday






  • 25





    People frequently ask me who my advisor is. I usually say "god, I wish I still had one".

    – xLeitix
    yesterday






  • 20





    Excessive drinking, excessive smoking, excessive drug use, and lack of sleep. In three years time, you'd look far older than your actual age.

    – Ink blot
    yesterday






  • 18





    Mandatory phd comics link: phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=1841

    – Pere
    yesterday







86




86





Did you forget to attach your complimentary elbow patches?

– pipe
yesterday





Did you forget to attach your complimentary elbow patches?

– pipe
yesterday




24




24





Hmmm. It will pass.

– Buffy
yesterday





Hmmm. It will pass.

– Buffy
yesterday




25




25





People frequently ask me who my advisor is. I usually say "god, I wish I still had one".

– xLeitix
yesterday





People frequently ask me who my advisor is. I usually say "god, I wish I still had one".

– xLeitix
yesterday




20




20





Excessive drinking, excessive smoking, excessive drug use, and lack of sleep. In three years time, you'd look far older than your actual age.

– Ink blot
yesterday





Excessive drinking, excessive smoking, excessive drug use, and lack of sleep. In three years time, you'd look far older than your actual age.

– Ink blot
yesterday




18




18





Mandatory phd comics link: phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=1841

– Pere
yesterday





Mandatory phd comics link: phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=1841

– Pere
yesterday










7 Answers
7






active

oldest

votes


















83














I would take it as a compliment to be mistaken for being younger. And, even if you don't actually feel complimented, that's a good way to respond. For example, you could laugh and say "Thanks. I wish I was still a young and carefree student, but, unfortunately, I'm a professor."



If you make it appear like you take it as a compliment, people won't feel like they have offended you and it is less awkward. The other party may also intentionally be erring on the side of underestimating your age, because it's seen as less of a faux pas that way.



(I often get people commenting on my height. I always act as if I take it as a compliment and that seems to work well. However, in reality, I'm pretty bored of discussing my disinterest in basketball.)



At conferences, you always have the option of putting "Prof." on your nametag. There is a small risk that this looks pretentious relative to the norms of your community, so it's a tradeoff.



Finally, there is one sure-fire way to appear older.






share|improve this answer




















  • 1





    You could dress (a bit) more formally... depends on what is the custom though..

    – Solar Mike
    yesterday






  • 5





    I got my first grey hairs at seventeen.

    – TRiG
    yesterday






  • 1





    @TRiG a friend of mine was bald by his 21st birthday... Still ok though..

    – Solar Mike
    yesterday






  • 1





    ‘…you always have the option of putting "Prof." on your nametag…’ Indeed, you can put your full job title, i.e. “Jane Doe // Assistant Professor // University of Kilmarnock”, which (at least in fields I know) would be slightly less likely to be seen as pretentious than “Prof. Jane Doe”, since what’s generally a bit old-fashioned/stuffy is asking for “Prof.” as a term of address.

    – PLL
    yesterday











  • Good answer, and I'd just add something that's usually a sure-fire way to leave an awkward moment behind: Pretend it never happened. Continue the conversation just as you would had the comment never been made. If you're awkward, it'll make them awkward.

    – Dan
    yesterday


















17














If you'd like to be more readily recognizable as a professor, change your dress to be a little bit more formal than the graduate students and postdocs around you dress.



In US professional dress for men, there are actually quite a number of noticeable gradations between T-shirt and suit. The rough levels that I've observed, in order of increasing formality are:



  1. T-shirt

  2. Collared shirt without buttons

  3. "Comfy" button-down shirt with pocket (e.g., a flannel)

  4. "Nice" button-down shirt (generally thinner and finer fabric, more subtle pattern and color)

  5. Formal button-down shirt (i.e., the sort of thing you might iron and wear under a sport coat)

  6. Tie without coat

  7. Sport coat + tie

  8. Suit

Those middle levels from 3-5 are subtle but highly communicative. Graduate students and postdocs usually land at levels 1-3, while professors more tend to land from 3-6. From what you've written, I would guess that you're probably typically coming in at around a 2-4 right now, and could upgrade yourself to somewhere in the 4-5 range.



For a woman, the general advice would be the same ("dress a little bit more formally than the graduate students"), but the specifics of how to achieve it are a) more complex, and b) can often take advantage of accessories such as jewelry.






share|improve this answer


















  • 10





    There's also Button-down Shirt and Sport Coat w/o tie. Personally, I think this would fall in at 6.5 on your scale.

    – Van
    yesterday






  • 3





    Also men can take advantage of accessories: Think of a wristwatch or 'serious-looking' glasses

    – MKR
    yesterday






  • 13





    Be careful though. If you reach too high on the scale, the impression you give is more "Ready for an interview" than "senior in the field".

    – Cecilia
    22 hours ago






  • 4





    I would actually replace 6 with "Button-down Shirt and Sport Coat w/o tie". I frequently see male faculty with a sport coat and no tie (and sometimes dress that way myself). I can't recall ever seeing a professor wearing a tie without a jacket.

    – Mark Meckes
    22 hours ago






  • 2





    @ElizabethHenning Polo Shirt. Normally have /some/ buttons but not a 'button-down shirt'

    – JeffUK
    6 hours ago


















17














Storytime. When I was lecturing, I once waited for the students outside the classroom (casually against the wall).



A student came to me and asked "Hey, do you know dr WoJ? Is he tough?". To what I replied "Oh yeah, but he is a great guy".



We came in together, our ways split while he was walking towards the other students and I went to the head of the classroom. I smiled a few times when looking at him when he was trying to somehow shrink.



I still smile when I think about that, nobody makes the mistake anymore (sight).



Bottomline: enjoy being seen as younger than you are. The way you look is only a part of how students will see you (from experience on both sides of the fence - the part "how do I look" is not that important).



Ah, another story. I had my first lab as a lab teacher (during my doctoral studies - I was running the lab for the students, asking them questions, marking, etc.). I was late. I ran to the lab and the janitor stopped me yelling that I have to change because if all the students came with their stuff it would be the end of the world (more or less).



He closed the door and told me to be back when I am without my coat etc. - and that I am lucky that the teacher is late :)



It took me some time to get in.



Bottomline: you may actually consider, in specific conditions, to look like a teacher.






share|improve this answer




















  • 6





    I've read that Wojtyla (the same who later became the pope John Paul II) had pretty much similar situation, just it was before an exam. A very nervous student asked him if this Wojtyla is very harsh, so he asked if the guy was prepared for the exam and started asking him questions as if he was checking how well was he prepare. Imagine how the student felt, when eventually Wojtyla asked for his examination card to put there a note (a decent one as the student indeed was well prepared) ;-)

    – Ister
    23 hours ago







  • 4





    I mentioned to my wife during dinner this story and she told me that her brother had almost the same one. He was going to his office when two students asked him about himself (not knowing him, they were on their way to meet him for the first time), they chatted on the way and ended up in front of his office where he invited them in.

    – WoJ
    17 hours ago











  • I laughed and cringed so hard at these, thank you all for sharing :)

    – Mehrdad
    17 hours ago



















8














People often think I am much younger than I am, and they might express said confusion with remarks similar to the ones you get. When people do get my age/position wrong, I normally point out they are ~ a decade off in their judgment, which always elicits surprise, never embarrassment.



My take therefore is that if you point out people are misjudging your professional position people might get embarrassed and forever try and avoid you, whereas if you causally drop 'thank you, but that was X years ago!' people will not feel so embarrassed. Do not drop you status as faculty on their heads immediately after correcting them, let them ask you.



Let people think they complimented you for your superiors youthfulness rather than tell them off for dissing you -- that seems the outcome you wish to get.






share|improve this answer








New contributor




user1256923 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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  • 1





    First answer that actually addresses the OP's stated problem rather than telling them to be glad about being seen as younger than they are.

    – Endre Both
    22 hours ago


















6














Facial hair could help



As a guy in his upper thirties who until recently was still getting pegged as being in his upper teens to lower twenties, growing facial hair (a mustache and goatee) has helped quite a bit. I now routinely get called "sir", which didn't happen before. I'm not saying this will solve your problem, but if it's an option it can definitely help.






share|improve this answer








New contributor




bob is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.




















  • Indeed!

    – Count Iblis
    15 hours ago






  • 1





    As it happens I already have a full beard (trimmed shorter than the guy @CountIblis mentions, though), but I agree that it would be even worse if I didn't.

    – Nate Eldredge
    10 hours ago











  • Fair enough. Though @CountIblis brings up (visually) a good point, which is (and not saying this applies to you) that at least in current U.S. fashion how you groom yourself while wearing facial hair matters; if trying to look older, it's important not to choose a hairstyle and clothing (and facial hair style) that aligns with the current fashion trend of young adult guys, many of whom also wear facial hair.

    – bob
    2 hours ago



















5














As a staff member (in the no man's land between students and faculty) who dresses casually, others on campus would always ask what I'm studying. Then over a summer vacation I stopped shaving my salt-and-pepper beard. When I returned, everyone suddenly treated me like I had tenure. I was flabbergasted.






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Camille Goudeseune is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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    3















    It doesn't particularly bother me in itself, but when I politely say something like "Actually, I'm faculty", they get embarrassed and it kind of puts a damper on the conversation




    I'm answering this based on that you do not appear to be bothered my the initial mistake, but how the conversation ensues. In that case, I'd recommend against changing things like how you dress or what you carry, and instead focus on how you respond. Being polite when you tell them the mistake is fine, but the way you express it will define the rest of the conversation. So yes, if you're polite, but serious, they might feel awkward. But if you smile and take it as humorous mistake and tell them with a light, almost laughing tone (not actually laughing, but maybe a little chuckle) that you are a faculty member, then, yes, they might still be a little embarrassed, but they will probably be comfortable about it. Maybe even inject an "I get that all the time." This would be less drastic than changing your dress style or daily behavior.






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      7 Answers
      7






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      7 Answers
      7






      active

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      83














      I would take it as a compliment to be mistaken for being younger. And, even if you don't actually feel complimented, that's a good way to respond. For example, you could laugh and say "Thanks. I wish I was still a young and carefree student, but, unfortunately, I'm a professor."



      If you make it appear like you take it as a compliment, people won't feel like they have offended you and it is less awkward. The other party may also intentionally be erring on the side of underestimating your age, because it's seen as less of a faux pas that way.



      (I often get people commenting on my height. I always act as if I take it as a compliment and that seems to work well. However, in reality, I'm pretty bored of discussing my disinterest in basketball.)



      At conferences, you always have the option of putting "Prof." on your nametag. There is a small risk that this looks pretentious relative to the norms of your community, so it's a tradeoff.



      Finally, there is one sure-fire way to appear older.






      share|improve this answer




















      • 1





        You could dress (a bit) more formally... depends on what is the custom though..

        – Solar Mike
        yesterday






      • 5





        I got my first grey hairs at seventeen.

        – TRiG
        yesterday






      • 1





        @TRiG a friend of mine was bald by his 21st birthday... Still ok though..

        – Solar Mike
        yesterday






      • 1





        ‘…you always have the option of putting "Prof." on your nametag…’ Indeed, you can put your full job title, i.e. “Jane Doe // Assistant Professor // University of Kilmarnock”, which (at least in fields I know) would be slightly less likely to be seen as pretentious than “Prof. Jane Doe”, since what’s generally a bit old-fashioned/stuffy is asking for “Prof.” as a term of address.

        – PLL
        yesterday











      • Good answer, and I'd just add something that's usually a sure-fire way to leave an awkward moment behind: Pretend it never happened. Continue the conversation just as you would had the comment never been made. If you're awkward, it'll make them awkward.

        – Dan
        yesterday















      83














      I would take it as a compliment to be mistaken for being younger. And, even if you don't actually feel complimented, that's a good way to respond. For example, you could laugh and say "Thanks. I wish I was still a young and carefree student, but, unfortunately, I'm a professor."



      If you make it appear like you take it as a compliment, people won't feel like they have offended you and it is less awkward. The other party may also intentionally be erring on the side of underestimating your age, because it's seen as less of a faux pas that way.



      (I often get people commenting on my height. I always act as if I take it as a compliment and that seems to work well. However, in reality, I'm pretty bored of discussing my disinterest in basketball.)



      At conferences, you always have the option of putting "Prof." on your nametag. There is a small risk that this looks pretentious relative to the norms of your community, so it's a tradeoff.



      Finally, there is one sure-fire way to appear older.






      share|improve this answer




















      • 1





        You could dress (a bit) more formally... depends on what is the custom though..

        – Solar Mike
        yesterday






      • 5





        I got my first grey hairs at seventeen.

        – TRiG
        yesterday






      • 1





        @TRiG a friend of mine was bald by his 21st birthday... Still ok though..

        – Solar Mike
        yesterday






      • 1





        ‘…you always have the option of putting "Prof." on your nametag…’ Indeed, you can put your full job title, i.e. “Jane Doe // Assistant Professor // University of Kilmarnock”, which (at least in fields I know) would be slightly less likely to be seen as pretentious than “Prof. Jane Doe”, since what’s generally a bit old-fashioned/stuffy is asking for “Prof.” as a term of address.

        – PLL
        yesterday











      • Good answer, and I'd just add something that's usually a sure-fire way to leave an awkward moment behind: Pretend it never happened. Continue the conversation just as you would had the comment never been made. If you're awkward, it'll make them awkward.

        – Dan
        yesterday













      83












      83








      83







      I would take it as a compliment to be mistaken for being younger. And, even if you don't actually feel complimented, that's a good way to respond. For example, you could laugh and say "Thanks. I wish I was still a young and carefree student, but, unfortunately, I'm a professor."



      If you make it appear like you take it as a compliment, people won't feel like they have offended you and it is less awkward. The other party may also intentionally be erring on the side of underestimating your age, because it's seen as less of a faux pas that way.



      (I often get people commenting on my height. I always act as if I take it as a compliment and that seems to work well. However, in reality, I'm pretty bored of discussing my disinterest in basketball.)



      At conferences, you always have the option of putting "Prof." on your nametag. There is a small risk that this looks pretentious relative to the norms of your community, so it's a tradeoff.



      Finally, there is one sure-fire way to appear older.






      share|improve this answer















      I would take it as a compliment to be mistaken for being younger. And, even if you don't actually feel complimented, that's a good way to respond. For example, you could laugh and say "Thanks. I wish I was still a young and carefree student, but, unfortunately, I'm a professor."



      If you make it appear like you take it as a compliment, people won't feel like they have offended you and it is less awkward. The other party may also intentionally be erring on the side of underestimating your age, because it's seen as less of a faux pas that way.



      (I often get people commenting on my height. I always act as if I take it as a compliment and that seems to work well. However, in reality, I'm pretty bored of discussing my disinterest in basketball.)



      At conferences, you always have the option of putting "Prof." on your nametag. There is a small risk that this looks pretentious relative to the norms of your community, so it's a tradeoff.



      Finally, there is one sure-fire way to appear older.







      share|improve this answer














      share|improve this answer



      share|improve this answer








      edited yesterday

























      answered yesterday









      ThomasThomas

      14.5k63154




      14.5k63154







      • 1





        You could dress (a bit) more formally... depends on what is the custom though..

        – Solar Mike
        yesterday






      • 5





        I got my first grey hairs at seventeen.

        – TRiG
        yesterday






      • 1





        @TRiG a friend of mine was bald by his 21st birthday... Still ok though..

        – Solar Mike
        yesterday






      • 1





        ‘…you always have the option of putting "Prof." on your nametag…’ Indeed, you can put your full job title, i.e. “Jane Doe // Assistant Professor // University of Kilmarnock”, which (at least in fields I know) would be slightly less likely to be seen as pretentious than “Prof. Jane Doe”, since what’s generally a bit old-fashioned/stuffy is asking for “Prof.” as a term of address.

        – PLL
        yesterday











      • Good answer, and I'd just add something that's usually a sure-fire way to leave an awkward moment behind: Pretend it never happened. Continue the conversation just as you would had the comment never been made. If you're awkward, it'll make them awkward.

        – Dan
        yesterday












      • 1





        You could dress (a bit) more formally... depends on what is the custom though..

        – Solar Mike
        yesterday






      • 5





        I got my first grey hairs at seventeen.

        – TRiG
        yesterday






      • 1





        @TRiG a friend of mine was bald by his 21st birthday... Still ok though..

        – Solar Mike
        yesterday






      • 1





        ‘…you always have the option of putting "Prof." on your nametag…’ Indeed, you can put your full job title, i.e. “Jane Doe // Assistant Professor // University of Kilmarnock”, which (at least in fields I know) would be slightly less likely to be seen as pretentious than “Prof. Jane Doe”, since what’s generally a bit old-fashioned/stuffy is asking for “Prof.” as a term of address.

        – PLL
        yesterday











      • Good answer, and I'd just add something that's usually a sure-fire way to leave an awkward moment behind: Pretend it never happened. Continue the conversation just as you would had the comment never been made. If you're awkward, it'll make them awkward.

        – Dan
        yesterday







      1




      1





      You could dress (a bit) more formally... depends on what is the custom though..

      – Solar Mike
      yesterday





      You could dress (a bit) more formally... depends on what is the custom though..

      – Solar Mike
      yesterday




      5




      5





      I got my first grey hairs at seventeen.

      – TRiG
      yesterday





      I got my first grey hairs at seventeen.

      – TRiG
      yesterday




      1




      1





      @TRiG a friend of mine was bald by his 21st birthday... Still ok though..

      – Solar Mike
      yesterday





      @TRiG a friend of mine was bald by his 21st birthday... Still ok though..

      – Solar Mike
      yesterday




      1




      1





      ‘…you always have the option of putting "Prof." on your nametag…’ Indeed, you can put your full job title, i.e. “Jane Doe // Assistant Professor // University of Kilmarnock”, which (at least in fields I know) would be slightly less likely to be seen as pretentious than “Prof. Jane Doe”, since what’s generally a bit old-fashioned/stuffy is asking for “Prof.” as a term of address.

      – PLL
      yesterday





      ‘…you always have the option of putting "Prof." on your nametag…’ Indeed, you can put your full job title, i.e. “Jane Doe // Assistant Professor // University of Kilmarnock”, which (at least in fields I know) would be slightly less likely to be seen as pretentious than “Prof. Jane Doe”, since what’s generally a bit old-fashioned/stuffy is asking for “Prof.” as a term of address.

      – PLL
      yesterday













      Good answer, and I'd just add something that's usually a sure-fire way to leave an awkward moment behind: Pretend it never happened. Continue the conversation just as you would had the comment never been made. If you're awkward, it'll make them awkward.

      – Dan
      yesterday





      Good answer, and I'd just add something that's usually a sure-fire way to leave an awkward moment behind: Pretend it never happened. Continue the conversation just as you would had the comment never been made. If you're awkward, it'll make them awkward.

      – Dan
      yesterday











      17














      If you'd like to be more readily recognizable as a professor, change your dress to be a little bit more formal than the graduate students and postdocs around you dress.



      In US professional dress for men, there are actually quite a number of noticeable gradations between T-shirt and suit. The rough levels that I've observed, in order of increasing formality are:



      1. T-shirt

      2. Collared shirt without buttons

      3. "Comfy" button-down shirt with pocket (e.g., a flannel)

      4. "Nice" button-down shirt (generally thinner and finer fabric, more subtle pattern and color)

      5. Formal button-down shirt (i.e., the sort of thing you might iron and wear under a sport coat)

      6. Tie without coat

      7. Sport coat + tie

      8. Suit

      Those middle levels from 3-5 are subtle but highly communicative. Graduate students and postdocs usually land at levels 1-3, while professors more tend to land from 3-6. From what you've written, I would guess that you're probably typically coming in at around a 2-4 right now, and could upgrade yourself to somewhere in the 4-5 range.



      For a woman, the general advice would be the same ("dress a little bit more formally than the graduate students"), but the specifics of how to achieve it are a) more complex, and b) can often take advantage of accessories such as jewelry.






      share|improve this answer


















      • 10





        There's also Button-down Shirt and Sport Coat w/o tie. Personally, I think this would fall in at 6.5 on your scale.

        – Van
        yesterday






      • 3





        Also men can take advantage of accessories: Think of a wristwatch or 'serious-looking' glasses

        – MKR
        yesterday






      • 13





        Be careful though. If you reach too high on the scale, the impression you give is more "Ready for an interview" than "senior in the field".

        – Cecilia
        22 hours ago






      • 4





        I would actually replace 6 with "Button-down Shirt and Sport Coat w/o tie". I frequently see male faculty with a sport coat and no tie (and sometimes dress that way myself). I can't recall ever seeing a professor wearing a tie without a jacket.

        – Mark Meckes
        22 hours ago






      • 2





        @ElizabethHenning Polo Shirt. Normally have /some/ buttons but not a 'button-down shirt'

        – JeffUK
        6 hours ago















      17














      If you'd like to be more readily recognizable as a professor, change your dress to be a little bit more formal than the graduate students and postdocs around you dress.



      In US professional dress for men, there are actually quite a number of noticeable gradations between T-shirt and suit. The rough levels that I've observed, in order of increasing formality are:



      1. T-shirt

      2. Collared shirt without buttons

      3. "Comfy" button-down shirt with pocket (e.g., a flannel)

      4. "Nice" button-down shirt (generally thinner and finer fabric, more subtle pattern and color)

      5. Formal button-down shirt (i.e., the sort of thing you might iron and wear under a sport coat)

      6. Tie without coat

      7. Sport coat + tie

      8. Suit

      Those middle levels from 3-5 are subtle but highly communicative. Graduate students and postdocs usually land at levels 1-3, while professors more tend to land from 3-6. From what you've written, I would guess that you're probably typically coming in at around a 2-4 right now, and could upgrade yourself to somewhere in the 4-5 range.



      For a woman, the general advice would be the same ("dress a little bit more formally than the graduate students"), but the specifics of how to achieve it are a) more complex, and b) can often take advantage of accessories such as jewelry.






      share|improve this answer


















      • 10





        There's also Button-down Shirt and Sport Coat w/o tie. Personally, I think this would fall in at 6.5 on your scale.

        – Van
        yesterday






      • 3





        Also men can take advantage of accessories: Think of a wristwatch or 'serious-looking' glasses

        – MKR
        yesterday






      • 13





        Be careful though. If you reach too high on the scale, the impression you give is more "Ready for an interview" than "senior in the field".

        – Cecilia
        22 hours ago






      • 4





        I would actually replace 6 with "Button-down Shirt and Sport Coat w/o tie". I frequently see male faculty with a sport coat and no tie (and sometimes dress that way myself). I can't recall ever seeing a professor wearing a tie without a jacket.

        – Mark Meckes
        22 hours ago






      • 2





        @ElizabethHenning Polo Shirt. Normally have /some/ buttons but not a 'button-down shirt'

        – JeffUK
        6 hours ago













      17












      17








      17







      If you'd like to be more readily recognizable as a professor, change your dress to be a little bit more formal than the graduate students and postdocs around you dress.



      In US professional dress for men, there are actually quite a number of noticeable gradations between T-shirt and suit. The rough levels that I've observed, in order of increasing formality are:



      1. T-shirt

      2. Collared shirt without buttons

      3. "Comfy" button-down shirt with pocket (e.g., a flannel)

      4. "Nice" button-down shirt (generally thinner and finer fabric, more subtle pattern and color)

      5. Formal button-down shirt (i.e., the sort of thing you might iron and wear under a sport coat)

      6. Tie without coat

      7. Sport coat + tie

      8. Suit

      Those middle levels from 3-5 are subtle but highly communicative. Graduate students and postdocs usually land at levels 1-3, while professors more tend to land from 3-6. From what you've written, I would guess that you're probably typically coming in at around a 2-4 right now, and could upgrade yourself to somewhere in the 4-5 range.



      For a woman, the general advice would be the same ("dress a little bit more formally than the graduate students"), but the specifics of how to achieve it are a) more complex, and b) can often take advantage of accessories such as jewelry.






      share|improve this answer













      If you'd like to be more readily recognizable as a professor, change your dress to be a little bit more formal than the graduate students and postdocs around you dress.



      In US professional dress for men, there are actually quite a number of noticeable gradations between T-shirt and suit. The rough levels that I've observed, in order of increasing formality are:



      1. T-shirt

      2. Collared shirt without buttons

      3. "Comfy" button-down shirt with pocket (e.g., a flannel)

      4. "Nice" button-down shirt (generally thinner and finer fabric, more subtle pattern and color)

      5. Formal button-down shirt (i.e., the sort of thing you might iron and wear under a sport coat)

      6. Tie without coat

      7. Sport coat + tie

      8. Suit

      Those middle levels from 3-5 are subtle but highly communicative. Graduate students and postdocs usually land at levels 1-3, while professors more tend to land from 3-6. From what you've written, I would guess that you're probably typically coming in at around a 2-4 right now, and could upgrade yourself to somewhere in the 4-5 range.



      For a woman, the general advice would be the same ("dress a little bit more formally than the graduate students"), but the specifics of how to achieve it are a) more complex, and b) can often take advantage of accessories such as jewelry.







      share|improve this answer












      share|improve this answer



      share|improve this answer










      answered yesterday









      jakebealjakebeal

      148k31531774




      148k31531774







      • 10





        There's also Button-down Shirt and Sport Coat w/o tie. Personally, I think this would fall in at 6.5 on your scale.

        – Van
        yesterday






      • 3





        Also men can take advantage of accessories: Think of a wristwatch or 'serious-looking' glasses

        – MKR
        yesterday






      • 13





        Be careful though. If you reach too high on the scale, the impression you give is more "Ready for an interview" than "senior in the field".

        – Cecilia
        22 hours ago






      • 4





        I would actually replace 6 with "Button-down Shirt and Sport Coat w/o tie". I frequently see male faculty with a sport coat and no tie (and sometimes dress that way myself). I can't recall ever seeing a professor wearing a tie without a jacket.

        – Mark Meckes
        22 hours ago






      • 2





        @ElizabethHenning Polo Shirt. Normally have /some/ buttons but not a 'button-down shirt'

        – JeffUK
        6 hours ago












      • 10





        There's also Button-down Shirt and Sport Coat w/o tie. Personally, I think this would fall in at 6.5 on your scale.

        – Van
        yesterday






      • 3





        Also men can take advantage of accessories: Think of a wristwatch or 'serious-looking' glasses

        – MKR
        yesterday






      • 13





        Be careful though. If you reach too high on the scale, the impression you give is more "Ready for an interview" than "senior in the field".

        – Cecilia
        22 hours ago






      • 4





        I would actually replace 6 with "Button-down Shirt and Sport Coat w/o tie". I frequently see male faculty with a sport coat and no tie (and sometimes dress that way myself). I can't recall ever seeing a professor wearing a tie without a jacket.

        – Mark Meckes
        22 hours ago






      • 2





        @ElizabethHenning Polo Shirt. Normally have /some/ buttons but not a 'button-down shirt'

        – JeffUK
        6 hours ago







      10




      10





      There's also Button-down Shirt and Sport Coat w/o tie. Personally, I think this would fall in at 6.5 on your scale.

      – Van
      yesterday





      There's also Button-down Shirt and Sport Coat w/o tie. Personally, I think this would fall in at 6.5 on your scale.

      – Van
      yesterday




      3




      3





      Also men can take advantage of accessories: Think of a wristwatch or 'serious-looking' glasses

      – MKR
      yesterday





      Also men can take advantage of accessories: Think of a wristwatch or 'serious-looking' glasses

      – MKR
      yesterday




      13




      13





      Be careful though. If you reach too high on the scale, the impression you give is more "Ready for an interview" than "senior in the field".

      – Cecilia
      22 hours ago





      Be careful though. If you reach too high on the scale, the impression you give is more "Ready for an interview" than "senior in the field".

      – Cecilia
      22 hours ago




      4




      4





      I would actually replace 6 with "Button-down Shirt and Sport Coat w/o tie". I frequently see male faculty with a sport coat and no tie (and sometimes dress that way myself). I can't recall ever seeing a professor wearing a tie without a jacket.

      – Mark Meckes
      22 hours ago





      I would actually replace 6 with "Button-down Shirt and Sport Coat w/o tie". I frequently see male faculty with a sport coat and no tie (and sometimes dress that way myself). I can't recall ever seeing a professor wearing a tie without a jacket.

      – Mark Meckes
      22 hours ago




      2




      2





      @ElizabethHenning Polo Shirt. Normally have /some/ buttons but not a 'button-down shirt'

      – JeffUK
      6 hours ago





      @ElizabethHenning Polo Shirt. Normally have /some/ buttons but not a 'button-down shirt'

      – JeffUK
      6 hours ago











      17














      Storytime. When I was lecturing, I once waited for the students outside the classroom (casually against the wall).



      A student came to me and asked "Hey, do you know dr WoJ? Is he tough?". To what I replied "Oh yeah, but he is a great guy".



      We came in together, our ways split while he was walking towards the other students and I went to the head of the classroom. I smiled a few times when looking at him when he was trying to somehow shrink.



      I still smile when I think about that, nobody makes the mistake anymore (sight).



      Bottomline: enjoy being seen as younger than you are. The way you look is only a part of how students will see you (from experience on both sides of the fence - the part "how do I look" is not that important).



      Ah, another story. I had my first lab as a lab teacher (during my doctoral studies - I was running the lab for the students, asking them questions, marking, etc.). I was late. I ran to the lab and the janitor stopped me yelling that I have to change because if all the students came with their stuff it would be the end of the world (more or less).



      He closed the door and told me to be back when I am without my coat etc. - and that I am lucky that the teacher is late :)



      It took me some time to get in.



      Bottomline: you may actually consider, in specific conditions, to look like a teacher.






      share|improve this answer




















      • 6





        I've read that Wojtyla (the same who later became the pope John Paul II) had pretty much similar situation, just it was before an exam. A very nervous student asked him if this Wojtyla is very harsh, so he asked if the guy was prepared for the exam and started asking him questions as if he was checking how well was he prepare. Imagine how the student felt, when eventually Wojtyla asked for his examination card to put there a note (a decent one as the student indeed was well prepared) ;-)

        – Ister
        23 hours ago







      • 4





        I mentioned to my wife during dinner this story and she told me that her brother had almost the same one. He was going to his office when two students asked him about himself (not knowing him, they were on their way to meet him for the first time), they chatted on the way and ended up in front of his office where he invited them in.

        – WoJ
        17 hours ago











      • I laughed and cringed so hard at these, thank you all for sharing :)

        – Mehrdad
        17 hours ago
















      17














      Storytime. When I was lecturing, I once waited for the students outside the classroom (casually against the wall).



      A student came to me and asked "Hey, do you know dr WoJ? Is he tough?". To what I replied "Oh yeah, but he is a great guy".



      We came in together, our ways split while he was walking towards the other students and I went to the head of the classroom. I smiled a few times when looking at him when he was trying to somehow shrink.



      I still smile when I think about that, nobody makes the mistake anymore (sight).



      Bottomline: enjoy being seen as younger than you are. The way you look is only a part of how students will see you (from experience on both sides of the fence - the part "how do I look" is not that important).



      Ah, another story. I had my first lab as a lab teacher (during my doctoral studies - I was running the lab for the students, asking them questions, marking, etc.). I was late. I ran to the lab and the janitor stopped me yelling that I have to change because if all the students came with their stuff it would be the end of the world (more or less).



      He closed the door and told me to be back when I am without my coat etc. - and that I am lucky that the teacher is late :)



      It took me some time to get in.



      Bottomline: you may actually consider, in specific conditions, to look like a teacher.






      share|improve this answer




















      • 6





        I've read that Wojtyla (the same who later became the pope John Paul II) had pretty much similar situation, just it was before an exam. A very nervous student asked him if this Wojtyla is very harsh, so he asked if the guy was prepared for the exam and started asking him questions as if he was checking how well was he prepare. Imagine how the student felt, when eventually Wojtyla asked for his examination card to put there a note (a decent one as the student indeed was well prepared) ;-)

        – Ister
        23 hours ago







      • 4





        I mentioned to my wife during dinner this story and she told me that her brother had almost the same one. He was going to his office when two students asked him about himself (not knowing him, they were on their way to meet him for the first time), they chatted on the way and ended up in front of his office where he invited them in.

        – WoJ
        17 hours ago











      • I laughed and cringed so hard at these, thank you all for sharing :)

        – Mehrdad
        17 hours ago














      17












      17








      17







      Storytime. When I was lecturing, I once waited for the students outside the classroom (casually against the wall).



      A student came to me and asked "Hey, do you know dr WoJ? Is he tough?". To what I replied "Oh yeah, but he is a great guy".



      We came in together, our ways split while he was walking towards the other students and I went to the head of the classroom. I smiled a few times when looking at him when he was trying to somehow shrink.



      I still smile when I think about that, nobody makes the mistake anymore (sight).



      Bottomline: enjoy being seen as younger than you are. The way you look is only a part of how students will see you (from experience on both sides of the fence - the part "how do I look" is not that important).



      Ah, another story. I had my first lab as a lab teacher (during my doctoral studies - I was running the lab for the students, asking them questions, marking, etc.). I was late. I ran to the lab and the janitor stopped me yelling that I have to change because if all the students came with their stuff it would be the end of the world (more or less).



      He closed the door and told me to be back when I am without my coat etc. - and that I am lucky that the teacher is late :)



      It took me some time to get in.



      Bottomline: you may actually consider, in specific conditions, to look like a teacher.






      share|improve this answer















      Storytime. When I was lecturing, I once waited for the students outside the classroom (casually against the wall).



      A student came to me and asked "Hey, do you know dr WoJ? Is he tough?". To what I replied "Oh yeah, but he is a great guy".



      We came in together, our ways split while he was walking towards the other students and I went to the head of the classroom. I smiled a few times when looking at him when he was trying to somehow shrink.



      I still smile when I think about that, nobody makes the mistake anymore (sight).



      Bottomline: enjoy being seen as younger than you are. The way you look is only a part of how students will see you (from experience on both sides of the fence - the part "how do I look" is not that important).



      Ah, another story. I had my first lab as a lab teacher (during my doctoral studies - I was running the lab for the students, asking them questions, marking, etc.). I was late. I ran to the lab and the janitor stopped me yelling that I have to change because if all the students came with their stuff it would be the end of the world (more or less).



      He closed the door and told me to be back when I am without my coat etc. - and that I am lucky that the teacher is late :)



      It took me some time to get in.



      Bottomline: you may actually consider, in specific conditions, to look like a teacher.







      share|improve this answer














      share|improve this answer



      share|improve this answer








      edited yesterday

























      answered yesterday









      WoJWoJ

      2,909717




      2,909717







      • 6





        I've read that Wojtyla (the same who later became the pope John Paul II) had pretty much similar situation, just it was before an exam. A very nervous student asked him if this Wojtyla is very harsh, so he asked if the guy was prepared for the exam and started asking him questions as if he was checking how well was he prepare. Imagine how the student felt, when eventually Wojtyla asked for his examination card to put there a note (a decent one as the student indeed was well prepared) ;-)

        – Ister
        23 hours ago







      • 4





        I mentioned to my wife during dinner this story and she told me that her brother had almost the same one. He was going to his office when two students asked him about himself (not knowing him, they were on their way to meet him for the first time), they chatted on the way and ended up in front of his office where he invited them in.

        – WoJ
        17 hours ago











      • I laughed and cringed so hard at these, thank you all for sharing :)

        – Mehrdad
        17 hours ago













      • 6





        I've read that Wojtyla (the same who later became the pope John Paul II) had pretty much similar situation, just it was before an exam. A very nervous student asked him if this Wojtyla is very harsh, so he asked if the guy was prepared for the exam and started asking him questions as if he was checking how well was he prepare. Imagine how the student felt, when eventually Wojtyla asked for his examination card to put there a note (a decent one as the student indeed was well prepared) ;-)

        – Ister
        23 hours ago







      • 4





        I mentioned to my wife during dinner this story and she told me that her brother had almost the same one. He was going to his office when two students asked him about himself (not knowing him, they were on their way to meet him for the first time), they chatted on the way and ended up in front of his office where he invited them in.

        – WoJ
        17 hours ago











      • I laughed and cringed so hard at these, thank you all for sharing :)

        – Mehrdad
        17 hours ago








      6




      6





      I've read that Wojtyla (the same who later became the pope John Paul II) had pretty much similar situation, just it was before an exam. A very nervous student asked him if this Wojtyla is very harsh, so he asked if the guy was prepared for the exam and started asking him questions as if he was checking how well was he prepare. Imagine how the student felt, when eventually Wojtyla asked for his examination card to put there a note (a decent one as the student indeed was well prepared) ;-)

      – Ister
      23 hours ago






      I've read that Wojtyla (the same who later became the pope John Paul II) had pretty much similar situation, just it was before an exam. A very nervous student asked him if this Wojtyla is very harsh, so he asked if the guy was prepared for the exam and started asking him questions as if he was checking how well was he prepare. Imagine how the student felt, when eventually Wojtyla asked for his examination card to put there a note (a decent one as the student indeed was well prepared) ;-)

      – Ister
      23 hours ago





      4




      4





      I mentioned to my wife during dinner this story and she told me that her brother had almost the same one. He was going to his office when two students asked him about himself (not knowing him, they were on their way to meet him for the first time), they chatted on the way and ended up in front of his office where he invited them in.

      – WoJ
      17 hours ago





      I mentioned to my wife during dinner this story and she told me that her brother had almost the same one. He was going to his office when two students asked him about himself (not knowing him, they were on their way to meet him for the first time), they chatted on the way and ended up in front of his office where he invited them in.

      – WoJ
      17 hours ago













      I laughed and cringed so hard at these, thank you all for sharing :)

      – Mehrdad
      17 hours ago






      I laughed and cringed so hard at these, thank you all for sharing :)

      – Mehrdad
      17 hours ago












      8














      People often think I am much younger than I am, and they might express said confusion with remarks similar to the ones you get. When people do get my age/position wrong, I normally point out they are ~ a decade off in their judgment, which always elicits surprise, never embarrassment.



      My take therefore is that if you point out people are misjudging your professional position people might get embarrassed and forever try and avoid you, whereas if you causally drop 'thank you, but that was X years ago!' people will not feel so embarrassed. Do not drop you status as faculty on their heads immediately after correcting them, let them ask you.



      Let people think they complimented you for your superiors youthfulness rather than tell them off for dissing you -- that seems the outcome you wish to get.






      share|improve this answer








      New contributor




      user1256923 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
      Check out our Code of Conduct.















      • 1





        First answer that actually addresses the OP's stated problem rather than telling them to be glad about being seen as younger than they are.

        – Endre Both
        22 hours ago















      8














      People often think I am much younger than I am, and they might express said confusion with remarks similar to the ones you get. When people do get my age/position wrong, I normally point out they are ~ a decade off in their judgment, which always elicits surprise, never embarrassment.



      My take therefore is that if you point out people are misjudging your professional position people might get embarrassed and forever try and avoid you, whereas if you causally drop 'thank you, but that was X years ago!' people will not feel so embarrassed. Do not drop you status as faculty on their heads immediately after correcting them, let them ask you.



      Let people think they complimented you for your superiors youthfulness rather than tell them off for dissing you -- that seems the outcome you wish to get.






      share|improve this answer








      New contributor




      user1256923 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
      Check out our Code of Conduct.















      • 1





        First answer that actually addresses the OP's stated problem rather than telling them to be glad about being seen as younger than they are.

        – Endre Both
        22 hours ago













      8












      8








      8







      People often think I am much younger than I am, and they might express said confusion with remarks similar to the ones you get. When people do get my age/position wrong, I normally point out they are ~ a decade off in their judgment, which always elicits surprise, never embarrassment.



      My take therefore is that if you point out people are misjudging your professional position people might get embarrassed and forever try and avoid you, whereas if you causally drop 'thank you, but that was X years ago!' people will not feel so embarrassed. Do not drop you status as faculty on their heads immediately after correcting them, let them ask you.



      Let people think they complimented you for your superiors youthfulness rather than tell them off for dissing you -- that seems the outcome you wish to get.






      share|improve this answer








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      People often think I am much younger than I am, and they might express said confusion with remarks similar to the ones you get. When people do get my age/position wrong, I normally point out they are ~ a decade off in their judgment, which always elicits surprise, never embarrassment.



      My take therefore is that if you point out people are misjudging your professional position people might get embarrassed and forever try and avoid you, whereas if you causally drop 'thank you, but that was X years ago!' people will not feel so embarrassed. Do not drop you status as faculty on their heads immediately after correcting them, let them ask you.



      Let people think they complimented you for your superiors youthfulness rather than tell them off for dissing you -- that seems the outcome you wish to get.







      share|improve this answer








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      answered yesterday









      user1256923user1256923

      1812




      1812




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      • 1





        First answer that actually addresses the OP's stated problem rather than telling them to be glad about being seen as younger than they are.

        – Endre Both
        22 hours ago












      • 1





        First answer that actually addresses the OP's stated problem rather than telling them to be glad about being seen as younger than they are.

        – Endre Both
        22 hours ago







      1




      1





      First answer that actually addresses the OP's stated problem rather than telling them to be glad about being seen as younger than they are.

      – Endre Both
      22 hours ago





      First answer that actually addresses the OP's stated problem rather than telling them to be glad about being seen as younger than they are.

      – Endre Both
      22 hours ago











      6














      Facial hair could help



      As a guy in his upper thirties who until recently was still getting pegged as being in his upper teens to lower twenties, growing facial hair (a mustache and goatee) has helped quite a bit. I now routinely get called "sir", which didn't happen before. I'm not saying this will solve your problem, but if it's an option it can definitely help.






      share|improve this answer








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      • Indeed!

        – Count Iblis
        15 hours ago






      • 1





        As it happens I already have a full beard (trimmed shorter than the guy @CountIblis mentions, though), but I agree that it would be even worse if I didn't.

        – Nate Eldredge
        10 hours ago











      • Fair enough. Though @CountIblis brings up (visually) a good point, which is (and not saying this applies to you) that at least in current U.S. fashion how you groom yourself while wearing facial hair matters; if trying to look older, it's important not to choose a hairstyle and clothing (and facial hair style) that aligns with the current fashion trend of young adult guys, many of whom also wear facial hair.

        – bob
        2 hours ago
















      6














      Facial hair could help



      As a guy in his upper thirties who until recently was still getting pegged as being in his upper teens to lower twenties, growing facial hair (a mustache and goatee) has helped quite a bit. I now routinely get called "sir", which didn't happen before. I'm not saying this will solve your problem, but if it's an option it can definitely help.






      share|improve this answer








      New contributor




      bob is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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      • Indeed!

        – Count Iblis
        15 hours ago






      • 1





        As it happens I already have a full beard (trimmed shorter than the guy @CountIblis mentions, though), but I agree that it would be even worse if I didn't.

        – Nate Eldredge
        10 hours ago











      • Fair enough. Though @CountIblis brings up (visually) a good point, which is (and not saying this applies to you) that at least in current U.S. fashion how you groom yourself while wearing facial hair matters; if trying to look older, it's important not to choose a hairstyle and clothing (and facial hair style) that aligns with the current fashion trend of young adult guys, many of whom also wear facial hair.

        – bob
        2 hours ago














      6












      6








      6







      Facial hair could help



      As a guy in his upper thirties who until recently was still getting pegged as being in his upper teens to lower twenties, growing facial hair (a mustache and goatee) has helped quite a bit. I now routinely get called "sir", which didn't happen before. I'm not saying this will solve your problem, but if it's an option it can definitely help.






      share|improve this answer








      New contributor




      bob is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
      Check out our Code of Conduct.










      Facial hair could help



      As a guy in his upper thirties who until recently was still getting pegged as being in his upper teens to lower twenties, growing facial hair (a mustache and goatee) has helped quite a bit. I now routinely get called "sir", which didn't happen before. I'm not saying this will solve your problem, but if it's an option it can definitely help.







      share|improve this answer








      New contributor




      bob is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
      Check out our Code of Conduct.









      share|improve this answer



      share|improve this answer






      New contributor




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      answered 22 hours ago









      bobbob

      1612




      1612




      New contributor




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      New contributor





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      • Indeed!

        – Count Iblis
        15 hours ago






      • 1





        As it happens I already have a full beard (trimmed shorter than the guy @CountIblis mentions, though), but I agree that it would be even worse if I didn't.

        – Nate Eldredge
        10 hours ago











      • Fair enough. Though @CountIblis brings up (visually) a good point, which is (and not saying this applies to you) that at least in current U.S. fashion how you groom yourself while wearing facial hair matters; if trying to look older, it's important not to choose a hairstyle and clothing (and facial hair style) that aligns with the current fashion trend of young adult guys, many of whom also wear facial hair.

        – bob
        2 hours ago


















      • Indeed!

        – Count Iblis
        15 hours ago






      • 1





        As it happens I already have a full beard (trimmed shorter than the guy @CountIblis mentions, though), but I agree that it would be even worse if I didn't.

        – Nate Eldredge
        10 hours ago











      • Fair enough. Though @CountIblis brings up (visually) a good point, which is (and not saying this applies to you) that at least in current U.S. fashion how you groom yourself while wearing facial hair matters; if trying to look older, it's important not to choose a hairstyle and clothing (and facial hair style) that aligns with the current fashion trend of young adult guys, many of whom also wear facial hair.

        – bob
        2 hours ago

















      Indeed!

      – Count Iblis
      15 hours ago





      Indeed!

      – Count Iblis
      15 hours ago




      1




      1





      As it happens I already have a full beard (trimmed shorter than the guy @CountIblis mentions, though), but I agree that it would be even worse if I didn't.

      – Nate Eldredge
      10 hours ago





      As it happens I already have a full beard (trimmed shorter than the guy @CountIblis mentions, though), but I agree that it would be even worse if I didn't.

      – Nate Eldredge
      10 hours ago













      Fair enough. Though @CountIblis brings up (visually) a good point, which is (and not saying this applies to you) that at least in current U.S. fashion how you groom yourself while wearing facial hair matters; if trying to look older, it's important not to choose a hairstyle and clothing (and facial hair style) that aligns with the current fashion trend of young adult guys, many of whom also wear facial hair.

      – bob
      2 hours ago






      Fair enough. Though @CountIblis brings up (visually) a good point, which is (and not saying this applies to you) that at least in current U.S. fashion how you groom yourself while wearing facial hair matters; if trying to look older, it's important not to choose a hairstyle and clothing (and facial hair style) that aligns with the current fashion trend of young adult guys, many of whom also wear facial hair.

      – bob
      2 hours ago












      5














      As a staff member (in the no man's land between students and faculty) who dresses casually, others on campus would always ask what I'm studying. Then over a summer vacation I stopped shaving my salt-and-pepper beard. When I returned, everyone suddenly treated me like I had tenure. I was flabbergasted.






      share|improve this answer








      New contributor




      Camille Goudeseune is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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        5














        As a staff member (in the no man's land between students and faculty) who dresses casually, others on campus would always ask what I'm studying. Then over a summer vacation I stopped shaving my salt-and-pepper beard. When I returned, everyone suddenly treated me like I had tenure. I was flabbergasted.






        share|improve this answer








        New contributor




        Camille Goudeseune is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
        Check out our Code of Conduct.






















          5












          5








          5







          As a staff member (in the no man's land between students and faculty) who dresses casually, others on campus would always ask what I'm studying. Then over a summer vacation I stopped shaving my salt-and-pepper beard. When I returned, everyone suddenly treated me like I had tenure. I was flabbergasted.






          share|improve this answer








          New contributor




          Camille Goudeseune is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
          Check out our Code of Conduct.










          As a staff member (in the no man's land between students and faculty) who dresses casually, others on campus would always ask what I'm studying. Then over a summer vacation I stopped shaving my salt-and-pepper beard. When I returned, everyone suddenly treated me like I had tenure. I was flabbergasted.







          share|improve this answer








          New contributor




          Camille Goudeseune is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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          share|improve this answer



          share|improve this answer






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          answered 23 hours ago









          Camille GoudeseuneCamille Goudeseune

          1534




          1534




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          New contributor





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              3















              It doesn't particularly bother me in itself, but when I politely say something like "Actually, I'm faculty", they get embarrassed and it kind of puts a damper on the conversation




              I'm answering this based on that you do not appear to be bothered my the initial mistake, but how the conversation ensues. In that case, I'd recommend against changing things like how you dress or what you carry, and instead focus on how you respond. Being polite when you tell them the mistake is fine, but the way you express it will define the rest of the conversation. So yes, if you're polite, but serious, they might feel awkward. But if you smile and take it as humorous mistake and tell them with a light, almost laughing tone (not actually laughing, but maybe a little chuckle) that you are a faculty member, then, yes, they might still be a little embarrassed, but they will probably be comfortable about it. Maybe even inject an "I get that all the time." This would be less drastic than changing your dress style or daily behavior.






              share|improve this answer



























                3















                It doesn't particularly bother me in itself, but when I politely say something like "Actually, I'm faculty", they get embarrassed and it kind of puts a damper on the conversation




                I'm answering this based on that you do not appear to be bothered my the initial mistake, but how the conversation ensues. In that case, I'd recommend against changing things like how you dress or what you carry, and instead focus on how you respond. Being polite when you tell them the mistake is fine, but the way you express it will define the rest of the conversation. So yes, if you're polite, but serious, they might feel awkward. But if you smile and take it as humorous mistake and tell them with a light, almost laughing tone (not actually laughing, but maybe a little chuckle) that you are a faculty member, then, yes, they might still be a little embarrassed, but they will probably be comfortable about it. Maybe even inject an "I get that all the time." This would be less drastic than changing your dress style or daily behavior.






                share|improve this answer

























                  3












                  3








                  3








                  It doesn't particularly bother me in itself, but when I politely say something like "Actually, I'm faculty", they get embarrassed and it kind of puts a damper on the conversation




                  I'm answering this based on that you do not appear to be bothered my the initial mistake, but how the conversation ensues. In that case, I'd recommend against changing things like how you dress or what you carry, and instead focus on how you respond. Being polite when you tell them the mistake is fine, but the way you express it will define the rest of the conversation. So yes, if you're polite, but serious, they might feel awkward. But if you smile and take it as humorous mistake and tell them with a light, almost laughing tone (not actually laughing, but maybe a little chuckle) that you are a faculty member, then, yes, they might still be a little embarrassed, but they will probably be comfortable about it. Maybe even inject an "I get that all the time." This would be less drastic than changing your dress style or daily behavior.






                  share|improve this answer














                  It doesn't particularly bother me in itself, but when I politely say something like "Actually, I'm faculty", they get embarrassed and it kind of puts a damper on the conversation




                  I'm answering this based on that you do not appear to be bothered my the initial mistake, but how the conversation ensues. In that case, I'd recommend against changing things like how you dress or what you carry, and instead focus on how you respond. Being polite when you tell them the mistake is fine, but the way you express it will define the rest of the conversation. So yes, if you're polite, but serious, they might feel awkward. But if you smile and take it as humorous mistake and tell them with a light, almost laughing tone (not actually laughing, but maybe a little chuckle) that you are a faculty member, then, yes, they might still be a little embarrassed, but they will probably be comfortable about it. Maybe even inject an "I get that all the time." This would be less drastic than changing your dress style or daily behavior.







                  share|improve this answer












                  share|improve this answer



                  share|improve this answer










                  answered yesterday









                  anjamaanjama

                  792




                  792



























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